A Tale of Two Chopsticks...

My Birthday

2009-05-03T22:56:00.003+08:00

Every year it's the same old story. Boy craves red velvet cake for his birthday. Boy's mom sends boxed cake across the ocean. Boy waits 3 weeks until the actual date of his birthday. Boy reads directions. Boy bakes cake. Boy mucks it up. Boy decides that cream cheese frosting makes him just as happy. :)

Such is my story for the third year in a row. I promise I follow the directions (at least I did this time). The first couple times I forgot to add either eggs or water. Usually it turns out looking like a dense red brownie. Somehow, though not surprisingly, I messed it up again. In the spirit of playing with food (as I haven't quite grown out of that phase of my life), I decided to decorate.

Meet Mr. Red.

He was happy until I started eating out his brains "return of the living dead" style.

Luckily, the second layer turned out better.

My New Oven

2009-02-28T19:51:00.003+08:00

After 2.5 years of living in China, Chinese food is starting to get boring to me. Well, it isn't so boring. I do still love it. Maybe I just haven't found that really good restaurant yet like Up Down in Yichang. Another reason might be that there isn't an easily accessible Snack Street with all the goodies and quick foods that I have been spoiled to. And yet another reason could be that I have access to all kinds of western food products. Yeah that could be it. So in the spirit of consumerism, I decided to buy myself an oven in which I could cook all the western dishes that I remember from home. Unfortunately I don't have any casserole dishes so Tator Tot Casserole has been put on the back burner for now. This weekend I decided to break in my new oven with Italian Stuffed Tomatoes. I really wasn't in a gourmet mood. I just had 2 tomatoes left over from last weeks food plan and thought what can I do with tomatoes in my oven. They turned out ok. I used a recipe that called for 6 tomatoes. I only cooked two. I now know that the recipe doesn't include enough cheese. I used the same amount the recipe called for with 6 tomatoes and it still wasn't cheesy enough. Plus I should add some more bread crumbs. All in all it was a neat little experience. I am psyched about Tator Tot Casserole for next weekend. Yes, tator tots are sold here in Shanghai. I can't wait!

Finally

2009-01-30T23:36:00.003+08:00

It is over. Just this last Sunday night, China ushered in the new year. A little behind, right? Actually, the new year holiday the Chinese people just celebrated is based on the lunar calendar. Where as our new year in the states is always on January 1, the lunar new year can range from sometime in January like this year and sometime at the end of February. It always is a source of great consternation for me. In planning my vacations ahead of time like most people do, I frequently inquire about such dates as the Chinese new year. No one ever knows until a few weeks before. Of course, I suppose I could utilize this great thing called the internet to do things besides Geo-challenge like look up the exact dates for the Chinese new year. Maybe next year.

Anyway, as part of the new year festivities, Chu Si (the fourth day of the Chinese new year) is as my boss calls it, Wealth God Eve. The simple explanation is that if you make lots of noise on this particular day (my last night, Thursday the 29th), the god of wealth will hear you and come bless your household. I didn't do a lick of noise making, but my neighbors sure did. If racket (in the form of firecrackers from 10 pm to 12:30 am and then restarting around 4 am) is any indication of the level of wealth that will fill a person's house over the next year, you will all want to be very nice to me because I am going to be rollin' in it! Money money money money...MONEY!

And now I am going to sleep for I am sleep deprived.

Egg Nog

2009-01-11T11:58:00.002+08:00

This blog is in honor of my mom who makes many holiday things possible for me. I love to drink egg nog each year at Christmas. Since I live in China, good milk products are hard to come by, plus the great malamime milk scandal of 2008 just made the problem worse. but because of my mom, I had egg nog! It was quite simple actually. Find carton of milk from a company that has proven itself as reputable through the malamime scandal and add to it a few tablespoons of egg nog powder. Viola! Instant egg nog. Now, we all know that instant products are never as good as the real thing, but I must say that it was incredibly good. From the smell to the taste to the texture, I felt like I was drinking real egg nog. This and a mango paste filled pastry makes for an amazing bed time snack! Thanks mom for making my day!

Da da da da da da da da!

2008-12-13T08:53:00.003+08:00

I so wish I could do music clips on my blog...because if I could, the title would make more sense.

During my time in Mengzi, the most convenient mode of transportation is by bicycle. It is quite a ride from the university where my friends live and work; however, it is beautiful and a nice way to get some exercise. Well, every time I would get on the bike with the huge comfy seat all I could think about is the music from Wizard of Oz when Ms. Gulch is riding her bike in her pompous posture in the tornado. That would have been the theme music to my riding the bike if my life had a soundtrack.

Anyway, I just wanted to post a few more pictures. I mentioned before that Mengzi has this beautiful lake in the middle of the city. We stopped and took some pictures.

Jack - Two Thousand EIGHT - Thanksgiving

2008-12-10T20:43:00.004+08:00

So as I continue rambling about my trip to Mengzi over the holidays, I just wanted to make sure you got to see some of what Thanksgiving was like for me this year.

It began waking up to this incredibly beautiful city, which I had only seen at night so far. The sky was blue. The air was clear. The temperature was comfortable. It was perfect! An incredible break from the big city. About lunch time, we headed over to the Kim and Katie's friends' house before we headed off to lunch. I got to meet the Rice's. Such neat people. Their 2 children went with all of us to eat at the Brother's Jiang. It is apparently some very famourse noodle place they eat at every Sunday. It was good but I am not a big fan of noodles. It was however, very enjoyable to be riding bikes everywhere. When we got back to the house after lunch, we started gearing up for the Thanksgiving feast. I played games while everyone else helped do something useful for the feast - my normal role. At home in America, it is mom who cooks all the dishes. It is dad and mike who wake up around 5 am to smoke the turkey. It is mine and Kris's job to relax and be entertainment...or is that be entertained? Well, whatever it is and whatever I was doing at the RIce's was not much different from what I would be doing at home. It was so familiar. They had a piano too. I got to play. Unfortunately, I have never sucked so bad at the piano. Maybe I am not that good after all. Still, it is fun to tickle those fake ivory keys. We also played Chinese Checkers. You know, the Chinese checkers we play in America with the star shaped game board. I am pretty sure it isn't Chinese at all.

Well, eventually it was time to eat. I was so excited. There was everything you could imagine to eat: deviled eggs, strawberries dipped in chocolate, carrot cake squares, turkey, gravy, jello, desserts, sweet potato pie, and vegetable sticks. Amazing. We even had football going in the background...never mind that it was 3 years old. I wonder if it will continue to be played if only as a tradition from now on. I kind of like that. I never watched the games anyway. It was just always nice to be around my family while they were screaming about plays and tackles and whatever other football things they know about. I really missed being with my family for the holidays but it was nice to be around people that reminded me of my family back home and how blessed I am.

Journey to the center of Nowhere: 3D

2008-12-07T10:07:00.003+08:00

As some of you know, I had the blessing of spending Thanksgiving with 2 of my old friends for Yichang where I used to live. No they are not Chinese. They are Kim and Katie. They have been in China for maybe 6 years now - several years in Yichang and they just moved to Mengzi in Yunnan Province. It was a great vacation from Shanghai but it started out as expected.

I left my apartment on a Wednesday morning. Apparently, I have never been up that early because the whole area I live in is pitch black before the sunrise. I mean all lights were off. Even the 24 hour convenient store had turned off its outside lights. Its early and the only way to the airport that is 20 mins away is by taxi. Of course, in their normal fashion, the taxi drivers speeding by in packs of 20 or 30 would just look at me as I was waving one of them towards me and they would wave back. Maybe I have the signal down wrong because often they just wave back they don't stop to pick me up. After walking for 35 mins in the dark and frigid Shanghai air, I finally got one to pick me up. My flight leaves in an hour and a half.

As I walk into the airport, my heart begins to race. 1 hour and 10 mins to go and all 171 ticket counters are lines at them. (Oh and I am not kidding about 171.) I find one that is moving quick at get checked in. No problems. Phew, I am at ease...until I see the security line. 50 something or so counters of people have to go through a security check point that is made up of only 3 lines. My heart begins to race more. I think this time things start to go black but I fight the anxiety. I get in line. I wait. My plane now leaves in 45 mins. Somehow I made it through the check point with 20 mins to spare and less 1 anti-bacterial hand sanitizer bottle. I suppose I could have caused some real damage on the flight: Die you bacteria scum!

20 mins to spare and on the plane. I am happy and ready to be leaving Shanghai for the first time since I came back. Well, turns out there was more waiting to do. We sat on the tarmac for 1 hour and a half before take off. They served us part of our breakfast while we waited for Air Traffic Control. In a lapse of judgement, I turned to my neighbor and said, "What is the deal with this waiting? The weather is beautiful and the airport just opened. How can we be backed up? Was there a plane crash?" She wasn't the same after that.

We landed in Kunming after 40 mins of circling the airport with the plane banked at what had to have made us nearly perpendicular with the ground. By the way, I loved it, my neighbor...terrified we might crash. I flew out of the airport on to make next stop: a drive through McDonald's. I have never seen on in China until that day. Very cool. But nobody was using. "If you build it, you will probably lose money." I hopped on a bus to Mengzi and enjoyed the ride down. It was good to be in the countryside away from buildings, smog, and traffic. One thing I want to mention about the trip down: Kim and Katie both said there is construction and so it will take longer. It took about 4.5 hours. No big deal. What they didn't tell me was that by construction they meant the whole road was missing for near 1 hour of the trip. I lost my cookies. And by lost my cookies I mean they fell out of my cookie bag and onto the floor to be crunched by all the passengers who found out why they believe all Americans are fat.

Anyway, around 8:30 or so I finally made it out to Mengzi - the center of nowhere. Kim and Katie met me at the bus stop and quickly whisked me through town on a whirlwind introduction of Mengzi which included massive government buildings, a beautiful lake, a hotel that reminder me of that pink hotel in Florida, shanti town, and my personal favorite the golden calf. It is the largest steel sculpture I have seen in China yet. At night with the lights on it, it is golden. It is just ridiculous. (Sorry no picture of it. We were too busy stuffing our faces with Thanksgiving and leftovers.)

Here are some pics. My arrival in Kunming.

The drive through McDonald's. It would be better if you could read Chinese.

The floating heads. Picture fun.

Saved by the Bell? Anyone?

And the highlight of my day (besides seeing K&K): A desk full of my favorite snacks: Little Bear Cookies!

Katera's Coming to Town...

2008-12-06T19:15:00.003+08:00

Well, the truth is that Santa is coming to town and Katera has already graced Shanghai with her presence.

Katera came to see me near the beginning of November. It was so good to finally catch up with her in another country. I didn't know what to do at first. I mean, how to be a good host. Turns out things worked out really wow. I have seen a lot of the touristy stuff in Shanghai and because I had to work 2 of the days she was here, she got to do that. Unfortunately for her, she got to see the Shanghai that people come to hate - rainy Shanghai. To be honest, I have loved Shanghai's weather until the last 2 days. Starting Oct 1 or so the weather was perfect - sunny and comfortable. The last 2 days it has been hovering around freezing. If I am not in the office, I am basically a popsicle. Anyway, it hadn't rained very much until she came, then it poured for a few days straight. After work, I was forced to meet her beat down look for dinner. Actually, she was surprisingly relaxed even after 2 days of rain.

While she was here, we discovered an area near my house - Hong Mei Road. This road is basically heaven for me. It has a walking street with restaurants of every fare - Greek, Mexican, Indian, French, and many others. There is even an Iranian restaurant. I might try that soon. Another cool thing I discovered (other China friends don't hate me, please) is that all these restaurants deliver. So now, I live next to a hospital, my office, an incredible mall with DQ, Starbucks, Papa John's, McD's, KFC AND there are western restaurants galore and a store that is better than Carrefour which carries everything I could ever need if I was living in America. Unfortunately, my salary can't keep up with my wants...but can anybodies? Oh, have I mentioned that KFC and McD's delivers too? Come to think of it, Starbucks delivered too for a while but only after morning rush. So, Katera and I indulged in our favorite foods.

The Sat and Sun she was here, we walked around different shopping areas, looked for French chocolate for her friends...which I don't think we found so I am missing that here in Shanghai. One of the nights we wanted to go see an acrobatic show. I thought we left with enough time but since it was raining no taxi wanted to pick us up. So we walked towards the acrobatic theater for 2 hours and never got there. We gave up and went back to watch episodes of some of our favorite shows. I know her trip to Shanghai wasn't as incredible as it could have been but it was good to have a friend to just watch TV with for a little while. Hopefully she will come back in the spring and I will give her a better tour of Shanghai.

Anyway, enjoy some of the pictures that I have included. Thanksgiving pics are coming soon! Tomorrow?

Randomness

2008-10-19T18:54:00.006+08:00

So since I have been here I have seen a few things that humor me so I thought I would share them with you.

The first picture is of a birthday cake. This is a Chinese stye birthday cake. I have eaten my share of these. Not exactly like this one but I have. When I lived in Yichang I would go to the cake store and buy a cake, sit down and eat the whole thing while watching House, MD or some movie. I have to admit that they aren't my favorite cakes but they do the trick. This one is just huge. It was for a student's birthday. Look closely. It is covered with fruit. It doesn't taste bad but nothing can beat mounds of extra icing shaped into flowers or racecars or cakes that are made out of ice cream like this one I bought a few weeks ago. Mmm, Dairy Queen.

One time I was shopping, there was a man playing the sax on a balcony over Nanjing Pedestrian Street where all the shopping and tourist activities usually occur. This was a nice break from walking that long mile of the black head sea. Shanghai is very big and there are many people hear. All of them have black hair except the occasional purple haired boy or the baldy. It was also a nice break from those people that run up to you and ask "You want cheap watch? iPhone? Polo shirt? Looky looky. Cheap. Don't buy? That's ok. Just looky. Sports shoes? No? Lady massage? Nice beauti..." Well you get the picture.

Another place that got my attention was the Coca Cola Bar. Look at this. It is merely a place where you go to drink coke. Its pretty nice for the Coca Cola company. Probably why they're sales and profits are expanding faster in this country than basically anywhere else in the world. Well, actually, the reason could be this. Chinese guys like to play basketball. There are lots of Chinese guys. They like to drink coke but only because they think all the famous athletes drink it while they play sports. They usually don't like sweet things. They don't like western candy and chocolate. Argh. Why am I friends with them? Anyway, that's true right? Athletes drink soda. You've seen it in the commercials, haven't you? I've experienced it first hand on the rare occasion I played basketball with my students. I've also experienced red bull and snickers as a half-time snack but I think I have covered that before. Anyway, millions of basketball playing chinese guys, a society obsessed with all things western, misleading commercials, ergo, Coca Cola makes millions. Brilliant.

And the last picture of Randomness for today is a yurt. Have you ever seen one of these in real life? Maybe you have if you have been to Mongolia. I have never seen one until I moved to Shanghai. Guess where this thing is? That's right, it it the annex for the place where I work. How crazy is that? I wonder if what I have seen on the inside is like inside of a real yurt. I don't know that anyone knows why the yurt was chosen as the additional building but it was. And it serves its purpose well. Needing to expand? Consider a yurt - with a glass corridor.

Well until next time, looky looky!

2 pieces or 4?

2008-10-12T09:33:00.003+08:00

Sometimes it is hard being a resident in a foreign land. For anyone anywhere, it can be difficult finding all the right places to shop for food, clothing, and other desirables. Everyone wants fair treatment right? We want good quality at reasonable prices. We want convenience. It is just the consumer's way. As a foreigner, though, sometimes such idealism is too much.

It has been my experience, and I am sure many others' experience, that, when we go shopping, we are targeted because we are the rich Americans. First of all, I love this because the native residents just assume everyone who looks Caucasian is American. What about the light skinned guy from one of the easter European countries or Uzbekistan? Will they be rich Americans? Of course not. So when we are seen, prices are automatically inflated. How much is that? For you? I give you good deal. 200 RMB. Very good deal. It is always fun to have a Chinese friend with you who bought before whatever it is you are buying now. "What? 200 RMB? It is only worth 10 RMB! 太贵了！" Everything is always, 太贵了, meaning too expensive - at least in the Chinese people's mind. Of course, when we foreigners calculate the exchange rate, we go, "Not bad." And so we pay it. So maybe when I deal with being charged too much, it is for good reason too. The Chinese people know the foreigners will pay it. I am suffering from the mistakes of the previous foreigners who bought from the venders. What I tell people, especially those who live here, we must think about it in terms of price level. Of course, we will pay anything that is the same price in America because it doesn't seem like it isn't a deal. But, why do people buy shirts or cups of coffee that would equal the cost of breakfast, lunch, and dinner for 2 weeks? Anyway, a lot of these decisions are based on information, and let's face it. As a foreigner, we are hard-pressed to have all the information we need to triumph over the savvy entrepreneur.

This last week I purchased 2 things that really got me upset about this lack of information and about being a foreigner in China. First, I joined the gym. Cost me a pretty penny, but I thought that it was a pretty amazing place so I decided it was worth it. My mom scared me by telling that I will probably gain weight over the next few years because I now have a desk job. Working out at the gym has become a necessity - not only to stay in shape, but to keep my heart healthy. It occurred to my that sitting at a desk won't help me exercise my heart. Walking everywhere might keep me thing, but I need aerobics. I joined and paid the fees. I am now called a VIP member. And I get 2 free sessions with a personal trainer. You see, I paid the price they showed me on their fee schedule, but I never thought about asking a Chinese person what they paid. For all I know I paid 3 times as much to be called a VIP with no other benefits than 2 sessions (already used one) with a personal trainer who has no boundaries. It is hard to work out when the guy is screaming at you in broken english, "Keep going. You lose fat. 5 more time" and he keeps pulling at the skin on your stomach and screaming 5 more times even though now you are up to 35 reps on the bench press. I would have been happy with regular member.

The 2nd thing I purchased was a nice Italian BMT from Subway. The subway opened in time for October holiday. I am pretty happy about that. Sometimes I get this craving for a nice thick sandwich with meat, cheese, and mayonnaise that it often unquenchable in China. Anyway, the guy asked me, 2 pieces or 4? I looked at the menu, and this time I thought I had all the information. 4 RMB or 8 RMB. Obviously, 4 RMB was the 2 pieces and 8 RMB was the 4 pieces. I said 2 pieces. Fooled again! I went to pay and the prices was significantly higher than what I expected. The man looked at me and said, it is 4 RMB for each piece. Then why the heck offer an amount different from the prices posted! Again, I didn't have all the information.

I suppose that even knowing some of the language has helped stem the frustration of this information asymmetry but still it is frustrating. I wonder what I will experience next. 20 RMB for a hair cut. "That will be 600 million RMB." What? I am not paying that. "But you must." Why? The sign said 20 RMB for a hair cut. "Well, sir, we counted how many hairs you got cut. The sign is singular. A hair. 20 RMB for A hair. Not hairs."

2 pieces or 4?

More of the surrounding area.

2008-09-27T21:47:00.002+08:00

Apartments on the road to the subway. The subway is 15 min walk from my apartment. Father than I wanted but I am close to the office.

My office. It is on the 6th floor. My building is on the right, which you could see if it was in the pic.

My apartment complex, again.

Another little river flowing through the area. Nice but smelly.

Is it fall?

2008-09-27T21:23:00.003+08:00

The first week of work is finished. Just in time too. Next week is October Holiday or "Golden Week" as the locals call it. Having a real job is going to put a crimp in my vacation style. The past 2 years yielded me a great deal of free time. This year, I will not be travelling over October Holiday because businesses only get 3 days during the week - 1st, 2nd, and 3rd of OCT. Workers can take a whole week but they actually make it up during one of the weekends surrounding the holiday. So, I will go in on Monday and Tuesday and take my 3 days of holidays. And since it is the end of the fiscal quarter, I will probably end up going in on Sat and Sun of next week to catch up the work. If I knew more about how to do the work at the office, I might be a little more efficient. Don't get me wrong, 1 week at work has certainly increased my knowledge and experience but I have a long long way to go. A long way to go.

Anyway, when I first go to Shanghai, I realized this might actually be a hotter and more humid place than Yichang. I walk to work every morning and it is a terrible 7 min walk. The whole time I am freaking out about how bad I am sweating. Let me tell you, showing up the first day drenched in sweat was a nightmare...but it soon dissipated when I realized everyone else sweats on the way to work too. Luckily, we have A/C all day. Half way through the week it stopped raining everyday and was suddenly breezy and chilly. I wonder, could this be fall? It reminds me of that scene from Harry Potter where the weeping willow just drops all its leaves in a flash signaling the change of a season. It is amazing outside. My clothes and sheets are drying in hours and retain a soft and breezy quality. So much better than that crunchy-ness associated with washing things in hard water and having no dryer.

Well, it is the weekend and so I am going to continue relaxing. Here are some pictures of the area near my apartment. No building is over 7 floors because it is near the airport...and by near I mean 25 mins away. It is a really nice area. If I haven't mentioned it before my apartment is a in a city block with my office on the city block on the north side, the hospital on the block on the east side, and a fabulous shopping mall on the west side. You will see a picture of a wall with a lot of names. Among them are: Starbucks, Dairy Queen, Papa John's, KFC, McDonald's, Pizza Hut, Subway, and Paris Baguette. And the grocery store sells cheese and TWIX! I hope I can control myself.

Here is a pic of a hotel that you might stay at if you come to visit and you don't want to sleep on the floor at my place.

Suburbia is nicer than downtown.

Maybe one day I will live in one of these.

Here is the hospital. It is amazingly busy and very good. Mother, you can rest at ease. Not like the experience in Yichang.

And here is the mall.

It has begun...

2008-09-20T08:10:00.001+08:00

2 days ago, I finally started my job. Well, I haven't exactly started
as much as I have had 2 days of orientation. Monday will be my first
real day. I am looking forward to using everything that I learned in
university - which isn't too much. Ok. Maybe I learned a lot more, but
it has been 2 years since I had classes in the Swang Building and so
recalling it is more of an issue.

Anyway, orientation was just 2 days of going of procedures and safety
precautions and such. I learned how to fill out a time sheet. I
learned what all the codes mean. Of course, I was at an advantage when
it came to hospital lingo. Thank you, Dr. House. Actually, I was the
only foreigner taking part in this orientation. The other 5 were
Chinese. An interesting thing to remember is that the main language
for all hospital operations is English. I kind of felt guilty because
I could understand everything the instructor was saying. I wonder if
my peers could. I am sure they understood a lot. My instructor kept
asking me if it was ok for her to use Chinese. I am totally ok with
that but she was uber-sensitive to my needs. Yeah for hospitality. I
just felt bad about that. In fact, I would rather her review
everything in Chinese.

One of the things that really stuck with me from the orientation was
the electrical safety guide. Don't get too excited. This is just me
being nerdy. You know some electric cords have 3 prongs? Well, I had
no idea what its purpose was until yesterday. It is a ground wire. If
the appliance malfunctions, any electricity that some how makes it to
the casing of the appliance is rerouted to this 3rd prongs and
grounded. I had no idea. We just cut them off when I was younger so
that they would fit in the 2 prong holes. I never got shocked because
of a malfunction. It was always because I was plugging things into the
socket in the dark and I was using my fingers as a guide by laying
them on the metal prong and feeling for the hole. I'll say it isn't a
terrible feeling but if the shock was larger I may have met my doom.

My office is about 10 mins away from the hospital by walk and on the
opposite side of my apartment. Did I mention my apartment was in
between the hospital and my office and one of the other sides of my
block holds the largest and best mall in the area? It could only be
more convenient if the subway stop was a half a kilometer closer.
Anyway, I sit at a cubicle. I am thinking about changing my blog name
to "Life from the Cube".

Well, off to learn some Chinese and find out what else is around here.

More pics of the new place

2008-09-17T10:02:00.002+08:00

Blue.

Clean.

What was I thinking when I bought those sheets?

Armoire big enough for 3 Egyptian Pharaohs.

My back porch. It is very peaceful except at dinner time when all the old men are smoking.

And the pics...

2008-09-17T09:53:00.004+08:00

This is my compound. It is one city block. Surrounded by a fence with 3 gates. Mom, I am pretty safe in this place.

This is the entry way. I live on the first floor so I share this one gated door with only one other apartment.

My apartment. The door has a nice little window that opens so a breeze can go through.

My living room. I am not finished decorating.

This couch keeps me away of my bad posture.

My New Place...but first the hunt.

2008-09-17T09:30:00.006+08:00

As of today, my apartment is finally organized and packed with the essentials...except food. Which, by the way, I need to do immediately. I don't want what happened last night to happen again.

Last Tuesday, the 9th, I began apartment hunting. I should have known from the moment I got an email stating my budget was too low that this would be a nightmare. The agent shows up and leads me to my first and only option for the day. The apartment was literally half the size of my college dorm room - no kitchen, living room, or desk. It was home to a bathroom larger than anyone would ever need, a table, a bed on the floor, and a TV. I said no way. (I thought she was doing this to encourage me to raise my budget so they could make more off the commission, but it turns out my budget was really low for what I was looking to rent.) She left, which was ridiculous because it takes her an hour by bus to get here. I feel like efficiency just escaped her.

The next day, after telling her my apartment didn't have to be "western" or furnished as I would be living there for a few years and I could collect furniture on my own, we went and looked at 2 other apartments. I walked in the first apartment and started screaming in my head. What was this lady thinking? Apparently, "unfurnished" meant unfinished. There was bare concrete walls with no tile or sink or...or...or anything. I left. The second one, well, we didn't see because we walked into a real estate agency to ask for other options. It was here we found the one.

So, in 2 days, I found the apartment I was looking for. It was a little bit out of my budget but I splurged for comfort and convenience. The landlords were excited to have me until the next day when I would need to post payment. Long story short, I had to go to the ATM 8 times in over the course of the following days because my accounts would only let me withdrawal so much per period. The landlords went crazy. They thought it was too much "mafan" (trouble) to receive payment over a few days. What? They couldn't wait to go to the bank until after they received all their money? I understand though. No one likes to be cheated.

Now back to the pantry. 2 days ago I ordered internet. And like in Yichang, people just say, go home and wait. Wait? I like appointments. Be here at 2. Be here at 3. Way more efficient for everyone. They said, "Go home and wait from 1 pm to 5 pm." Argh. Well, I forgot to buy food for the day because I was cleaning and so 1 pm came and I had no food and had only eaten oatmeal. By 5 pm, I was done waiting and they hadn't shown up yet. I was agitated. They finally showed up to install the internet and asked me where I wanted the hole drilled for the line. I kept telling them where but they would only do it where they wanted so I kept asking them why they asked me why cared where it went. Turns out, where I wanted it was twice as thick as I had actually thought. So after arguing for 15 mins, I lost and lost face really badly. I blame it on the lack of food or maybe the fact that 3 bowls of oatmeal just doesn't cut it for someone who wants CHOCOLATE!

So now you get to see pics. Check them out in the next post or on facebook.

Science Experiment or Death Wish...

2008-09-10T20:34:00.001+08:00

So as many of you may not know, I have been interested in this Large
Hadron Collider for many years. Actually, I remember seeing a picture
of it in some middle school science textbook and was mesmerized my it.
Of course, I haven't researched it thoroughly over the last many years
but I do know that it has always intrigued me. Now it is in the news
again but this time it is a bigger, better, and more expensive one. 5
billion USD. Ok. Whatever. Spend in the name of science. I am sure
others of you think that the money could be used elsewhere - maybe it
could but that is not the reason for this post. My reason for writing
is born out of this weird peace with the possible consequences of this
experiment that some people seem to have.

This is it. A 17 mile circumference circle of superconducting magnets
will send upwards of 600 billion particles in this ring with the
purpose of trying to make them collide with each other. Now,
obviously, the scientist probably have things under control. And as
you are reading this, the experiment has probably already begun.
Projections show that data won't be extrapolated until months from now
when these particles will finally reach 99.9% the speed of light. 0-60
in 5 seconds cannot be compared to 0-some umpteen million miles per
hour in a few months. Scientist want to find a particle, among other
things, that will help them understand the beginning of the universe.
Some people have expressed concern over this project and after reading
the following paragraph you might see why.

"If all goes according to plan, the Large Hadron Collider, a gigantic
particle accelerator underground near Geneva, could re-create the very
moment 13 billion years ago when scientists believe a tremendous
explosion known as the "big bang" created the universe."

Didn't that very moment rupture time and space catapulting all matter
(AND THE EARTH) as we know into the vast expanse? Big bang. Explosion.
Bigger than Krakatoa or a nuclear blast. Who is ok with this?

"Hey Pinky, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
"Let's take over the world like you always want to do?"
"No Pinky. Let's re-create the big bang."
"Narf."

The Arrival

2008-09-09T21:28:00.001+08:00

So, I just wanted everyone to know that I have made it to Shanghai.
Flight wasn't bad. Korean Air's service is amazing. They walk around
and offer drinks the whole time where as on China Southern I am stuck
pushing the call button to no avail. I landed in Shanghai at 8 pm on
Monday night. Not a bad time to get in. By then, the heat had
subsided. The only snag I hit was after I got off the shuttle bus in a
district near where I work, I found myself in the middle of no where.
I thought, "Well now, Dawson, what are you going to do now?" (In a
fashion that reminds me of my granny speaking to me.) I mean, I
couldn't just leave my luggage on the sidewalk and go chase down
taxi's a few streets away. Luckily, a few passed by and another
foreigner got their attention. The first taxi drive looks at the
foreigner's stuff and starts yelling, "too much luggage. 4 pieces are
too heavy." and backs away. (In Chinese, of course.) Now I am getting
nervous about my driver. He looks at my stuff and starts yelling the
same thing. But he had exited his car before he noticed how much I
had. So I started yelling back (in Chinese, I am so proud) "If you
don't help me, who will?" I said it about 3 times, each time
significantly louder. He caved. I threw my stuff in the car hoping for
a fast and easy getaway but I had lost my address. So now, after
begging him to do his job, I had him stop in the middle of a back
alley and let me look for the address. It took 15 minutes or so. By
this time I was embarrassed, though I had no reason to be. Well, to
end this segment of the story, I got to the hotel just fine. It is
near the hospital where I will work. The only thing about it though,
was that it was missing the cryogenic freezing chamber-esque shower in
the middle of the room (that I had seen at other hotels in this chain)
where I could shower and watch TV at the same time. In fact, the room
is so small that I have no where to walk. My luggage literally takes
up every ounce of floor space in this tiny closet of a room.

It really is great to be back in China. It is even better being in
Shanghai starting my career. I was so excited that I slept 4 hours my
first night back. I woke up at 4 am checked on a few emails and then
started roaming the district for a few hours. I was up with the street
sweepers and the morning tai chi-ers. Pretty refreshing. I found the
fresh food market I will be shopping at. The veggies and fruit look
amazing. I did go apartment hunting. My agent found me one place but
it was actually smaller than the hotel room with no kitchen or washing
machine. We had a long discussion and cleared up some things and so I
think now she will be able to find me something more suitable.

Well, I have no pictures to post now but I will in the future. And the
Tale continues...

Testing

2008-09-01T20:06:00.001+08:00

Does this really work? Can this thing really post text and pics from
email? This could really reduce the amount of frustration blogging in
China. Testing. Testing. 考一考。

Therapy Session Part 2

2008-04-17T19:15:00.002+08:00

Acupuncture. Needles. Sharp. Electricity. Twitching. Violently. Ridiculous.

Ｉ dared to use cool...

2008-04-10T21:27:00.003+08:00

and Chinese hospital in the same sentence.

Ａ couple of weeks ago, Ｉ hurt my back. Ｔhe moment it happened, Ｉ knew it was a big deal. Ｉ mean, Ｉ could move. Ｉ could walk. Ｉ could even squeak and squack. Ｉf Ｉ want to say a something Ｉ just open up and talk. Ｉ can talk...argh. Ｃharlotte's Ｗeb - curses！

Ｉf you know me really well, you know that Ｉ don't trust 3 types of people in this world - mechanics, politicians, and doctors. Ｗell, imagine me trying to trust a doctor in a second language. Ｉt doesn't work. Ａlso, anyone who knows me, knows that Ｉ love to diagnose myself. Ｓo basically, Ｉ went to the hospital with different friends and made them translate my concerns and desires in such a way that Ｉ could lead the doctor to my diagnosis. Ｐrobably not a very good thing in the first place, but it is fun. To make a long story short, Ｉ have...Ｉ am not going to tell you. Ｉt isn't personal but maybe you can look at the ＭＲＩ results and try diagnosing me. ＢＴＷ, ＭＲＩ machines are by far in my "top 5 coolest machines in the the world" list. Ｄon't ask what the others are. Ｉ have no idea.

Ｗell, since we are on ＭＲＩ's, Ｉ have to say this. One of my friends translated for me that day. Ｈe is a Ｆrench major. Ｈis Ｅnglish is great but Ｉ was concerned with the technical language. Ｓo, he asked me if Ｉ had any metal on me, which he said at my prompting, Ｉ said no. Ｎothing on the outside or the inside. Ｗho knows what the others requirements and safety precautions were. Ｉ got inside the machine. Ｉt was tight. Ｉ could have fit in better before when Ｉ had lost weight due to a 2 year diet of veggies and rice but alas, Ｉ gained it all back with a steady diet of chocolate my Ｍom has been feeding me with from overseas.

Ｂack to the topic, Ｉ had done some reading on ＭＲＩ machines. Ｉt seems that they are just some huge electronic magnets. Ａfter watching ＨＯＵＳＥ, ＭＤ, Ｉ know what metal does in one of those machines. （Ｅpisodes 2-1 (prisoner with tatoo metal) and 4-7 (magician with key in stomach).）Ｉ get in the machine and start freakin' out. Ｉ didn't ask my mom if my medical history hinted about any metallic additions to my body or if I was part RoboCop. Oh, and Ｉ am adopted so who knows anyway. Ｉ was just hoping that the metal plate that could be in my head doesn't come lose when the machine starts and goes straight out my forehead. Ｇrotesque, huh？Ｉ was a little nervous. Ｔurns out the machine didn't hurt me.

Ｓo now Ｉ am suffering from....you thought Ｉ would tell you but you are wrong. Ｉ get to go to therapy now everyday for probably 1/2 a month to a whole month. Ｉ started today. Ｓee pictures below. Ｉ laid on a bed that basically pulled my lower half from my upper half like some medieval torture device. Ｉ liked it. Ｔhen electricity flows through my back in another session and last but not least, Ｉ got to lay on a massaging heat compress. Ｆabulous. Ｉ hope the school pays for this.

Possum Town Nuggets...

2007-12-26T19:17:00.000+08:00

Mom's

Mine

I tried.

A Christmas Tree or Value Meal?

2007-12-23T19:43:00.000+08:00

So, this year I was going to skip decorating for Christmas this year in order to save money for my spring festival trip. Now, you probably think that my decision was ridiculous but after my friend's experience in Harbin I think I need to save as much money as possible. At least 4000 yuan as possible. One day, while shopping for some of my family's Christmas presents, I added up how much it would cost to buy a tree with some simple decorations. Little did I know that this calculation would soon become the hardest decision of the month...

FLASHBACK: A few weeks ago, it was raining. Surprise! Well, not really, it's Yichang. It rains all the time. (Even now as I am typing, it is raining and someone is shooting off fireworks. Why? Oh, I digress...) Because it was raining, I decided not to go out and buy food that day. I thought to myself, "Self, it is raining. Why not stay in and cook all the food in your freezer for your 3 meals today?" Well, when I went to eat breakfast, I found some bread on the table. "Why cook food when there is bread?" So, I ate the bread. I was satisfied. I continued studying Chinese through the morning. At lunch time, I went into the kitchen to find something to eat. I looked in the cabinet and found peanut butter. Mmm, peanut butter. No bread, no jelly, so no sandwich. BUT, I could eat spoons of peanut butter. 1 jar later, I was satisfied. Lunch was over. The time before supper went fast, I was grading papers. Oh how time flies when you are working on boring crap. Finally, dinner arrived. Up to this point I hadn't cooked the food in the freezer, so dinner was going to be nice. I opened up the freezer and what to my wondering eyes didn't appear? But a miniature sleigh and 8 tiny...well, NOTHING! There was ice in my freezer. Yeah for ice. Boo for no food. Oh how I wanted to go get food but I had no desire to brave the rain In the end, I settled on hot water with honey. It worked...for a little while. I though, maybe I can make it to bed time. I did. I went to bed at 10:30 because I wanted to stop thinking about how hungry I was and how lazy I was for not going to buy food.

Unfortunately, 1:15 am rolls up to my sleeping eyes and I wake up famished. I have to buy food - but where? Yes, there is a 24 hours McDonald's. Do I have money? Maybe, let me check. NO! No money on me. Is there money in the bank? Let me check...after braving the rain and checking, 97 yuan. Can't withdraw 97 yuan so I am, well, screwed. I run back to my house. Can I round up enough change? I check my change bowls, there has to be enough. I count it. 50 yuan in coins and coin equivalent bills e.g., a 10 fen coin has an equivalent paper counterpart. Check out the first picture below. 50 yuan would get me there, a value meal, and back. This could work. By the time I was done counting and taping the coins together so I wouldn't have to count them again at McDonald's it was 3 am. I gave up and went to bed. "Self, let's treat you to another random late night McDonald's trip next week. You deserve it."

Fast forward to last weekend. I saw a Christmas Tree and decorations for 50 yuan. Mickey D's or decorations? Which one? WHICH ONE? I gave up the junk for decorations. I am so thankful now that I decorated. It would have been terrible to open my family's presents to me in a sterile room. Oh, by the way, the Christmas package got here just fine. Check out picture number 2. Anyway, with the 40 lb. Yankee candle that I lugged over here to China that smells of fall and the Christmas decorations in my living room, I am set and ready for Christmas evening. Check out the pic's below of the festiveness. That's it. Goodnight ladies and gentlemen. Goodnight.

Oh and my costume...

2007-11-08T17:21:00.000+08:00

I was Quail Man! 3 days after the party one of my favorite students ran up to me and said, "I still remember you wore your underwear on the outside of your shorts." I just laughed, I would be concerned if someone forgot that after 3 days. Even I am still chuckling inside about how ridiculous that was. Boy am I glad I wore underwear that I bought for that day. And FYI, I don't wear that kind of underwear in case you were wondering. Oh, and I wasn't the only one wearing underwear on the wrong side of his clothes. One boy showed up with Mr. Bananaman written on the front and Hello Kitty on the back. Katie dressed up as Hello Kitty. Anyway, I loved my costume mostly because I got that stupid belt to stand up on my forehead. You try it!

Halloween Pics...

2007-11-08T16:56:00.000+08:00

Finally.

Halloween this year was different from last year in the sense that the students did better dressing up. Besides all of the foreigners rocking out in China Creativity, the students came up with some pretty neat stuff to. You can check out the pics below.

The night began with most everyone freakin' out over whether or not their costumes were up to par. Every student who appeared needed more assistance with get dressed or make-up than I imagined. Of course, they should be cut some slack. Halloween is the foreigners' holiday not theirs. After several students experienced Brad's dead body on the ground, he was resurrected in time for a costume competition. What was really funny about this was the fact that all the students were up on stage to show off their costumes and there were maybe 10 foreigners out in the audience. I can't imagine being a model and showing up to walk the runway for an empty house. Oh well, it was funny to me. My friend Felix does scary-black-clothes-and-white-bloody-face-monster really well. One of Brad's old students looked fabulous in a traditional Chinese outfit. Of course, my old and new English majors were a delight to see. There pirates, monkeys, superheroes, and "who-knows?" among them. My personal favorite was the milk carton. The costume was good but the student is even more hilarious. 3 of Brad's students showed up, one of them being Brad #2. All of them dressed up as Super Bush - Super George W. Bush. Brad #2 (who was the main Super Bush) is just out of control. The night concluded with a "Dead Witch Project". Brad narrated the project while all the students touch different party parts of the dead witch. These parts, thankfully, were made of food. So no worries. We didn't find a dead witch to dissect in China. Enjoy the achievement of making costumes in China!

Day 1 & 2 of October Holiday...

2007-11-05T21:22:00.000+08:00

A little late probably, but I know some of you are still waiting to hear about my 2nd October Holiday experience. (Grandma are you one of the "some of you"?)

Well, after a nice little train traveling experience, my friend and I arrived in Liu Zhou. It was in this town that we had to find a bus to Guilin. It wasn't difficult because I was accompanied by a Chinese friend. It was dark when we began our 2 hour journey to Guilin but the sun was up as we came upon the city. Oh how spectacular it was. The mountains in Guilin are so strange. On the main drag, you could pass building, house, store, mountain peak, and school. Put this formula on repeat and you have the drive into the center of town. These peaks are exactly like the ones you see at the Chinese restaurants in America. You know the ones that I am talking about - the pictures that have still mountains and the water is actually moving and making babbling sounds. Just like that. Not so cheesy of course. (And I have no pictures of this actually occurance.) (Oh, and I can't find the word occurance in the dictionary so I made it up. It needed to be made up anyway.)

We spent most of the day searching for travel help to get to Yangshuo (subject of one of the following posts). I paid 200 yuan as a deposit for our tickets and agreed to pay the rest the following day. I mention this only because my friend and I both forgot to pay our remaining portions. Oh well, they charged us like crazy anyway since it was Golden Week Vacation. On a side note, they tell us not to travel during 3 periods of the year. Unfortunately, those are 3 of 4 periods anyone can travel. Even more unfortunate, the 4th period of time is when I come home for the summer.

We walked around all day trying all kinds of cool things. I ate horse meat. Not bad, kind of like thin strips of crispy beef. We found Da Ma Hua. Which is a wonderful treat from another area in China. It is often rare to find and we only found it once while on vacation. I made it last for 2 weeks because of that. Guilin is nice during the day but even more gorgeous at night around the river system. Just check out the pics below. Other than that, no really interesting stories about the first 1 and a half. I did eat stomach lining but that really isn't a new experience. Oh, and that is a waterfall on the front of the hotel. It is a neat concept. Everyday at 8:30 pm or so the waterfall begins and the classical music sings out from the sides of the building. It really is a neat hotel. Just too expensive. Oh well, free entertainment.

Whoa!!!

2007-10-21T09:48:00.001+08:00

Cultural discussions are always a blast with the students. Discussion outside the classroom is very good for both me and the students. The students tend to speak more; therefore, I learn more and they practice more. It is a win-win situation. However, I love discussions inside the classroom because that saying "There is power in numbers" rings very true - for my enjoyment. If we are talking in class about something that shocks them, the gasp made by 30 people is just hilarious. More about this later.

The students seem to know a lot about Western culture. Of course, many of their ideas are way off the mark. For example, at English corner last year, both Brad and I were asked if everyone had personal jets. I wish. Now, this is only one example. I am sure there are many more but you get my point. They have ideas about our culture; they just want us to shed some light on some of their confusions. Anyway, I do wish that there were more books out there on modern Chinese society so that I could understand the mainstream Chinese people. I have several good Chinese friends but the closest ones can hardly be representative of the population. (In my opinion, this is the case.)

Anyway, cultural discussions this last week included health and fitness. I let the students discuss Chinese people's obsession with health and fitness then I had them compare similarities and differences with American people's obsession. Naturally, they think American's are fatter. Probably on average our bodies have a larger size but you know that blanket statements don't paint a correct picture. So, in my intrigue I asked my students how much I should weigh. They said 60 kg. I told them I weigh 80 kg. Every single student gasped. There was no air left in the classroom. In response, I asked them if I looked fat and they said no. Now, you may think they were being polite and said no but in some weird irony, Chinese people, the people who can't say many things directly, will tell you when you are fat. So, I believe them. I don't think I look fat. "Well then, why should I weigh 60 kg?" No response.

As skinny as Chinese people are, it is amazing how obsessed they are with losing weight or staying thin. Girls especially think this way and they are especially thin. It is kind of sad that they feel like they should lose weight. I tried my best at a PSA for accepting yourself and they way you look but I don't think it will take.

My main reason for writing is that they students said there are all kinds of weight loss pills in China. As I entered a pharmacy the other day, I noticed a whole shelf of them - all natural ingredients. I wondered for just a minute if it would hurt to take some but that was soon over. English translations of titles can really change peoples minds on things. The one particular weight loss pill that caught my eye was called "Fat Incendiary Bomb". If only my Chinese friends knew enough English to really enjoy the ridiculousity of that translation. I know you do. If you want some, let me know!

The October Holiday Experience...Trains

2007-10-19T09:39:00.000+08:00

Like most holiday vacations in China, the trip to Guilin was made by train. Train rides are always interesting experiences; if not for the conditions of the experience, then for the multitudes of children that tend to find foreigners no matter where they are on the train. It never fails, children find me on the train. I dream of riding on trains relaxing in the hard sleeper cabin while reading a book as the scenes of China's countryside whiz by and the clanking of the train cars beats steadily on my ears.

Though this dream has yet to become a reality, it is hardly anything to complain about. The children that I run into on the trains are quite entertaining. It always begins with a small child passing by the berth that I occupy and seeing me in the corner of his or her eye. These children- they see, they pass, they return, I smile, they smile, and then they run away. In no less than 5 minutes, the child returns to pass by once more. He steps further into the berth as if to test the waters. I smile. He smiles and then takes off again. And so begins, a 30 minute game of him and his newfound young cohorts on the train running down the walkway, slowing down enough to look in and smile, and then take off at breakneck speed after I smile at them. The fact that I am a foreigner attracts the attention of many children on the train. At some point, the children, after discussing what to do in their huddle, get the courage to come and talk to me. Maybe they just get tired of seeing my teeth. I don't know. "We're tired of looking at his teeth, let's see if we can get him to talk." In their bravery, they overestimate the amount of Chinese I might know. They come crashing in yelling all kinds of things in Chinese. In my broken Chinese, I try to answer. My favorite thing about this is when they laugh hysterically at the things that I say. It isn't long before I figure out that the responses I provide are not even close to the correct responses to their statements. Children: "Where are you going?" Me: "I like living in China." Children: "Are you from America?" Me: I know, the time is 8:30 pm." One day, I'll get it.

Recently, I have gotten brave with these little children. 60% of the time they want to talk to me in order to practice English. I let them practice, but I can only take general greetings for so long. After my boredom sets in, I proceed to practice my Chinese. In doing so, I always get to the verb for singing. This is my favorite part. I can't have full conversations in Chinese yet, but I can make suggestions. Boy is it fun to suggest that they sing. Of course, they will do it willingly. Something about Chinese culture: people ask each other to perform all the time. When asked, students, teachers, and children will perform; circumstances not withstanding. They are shocked when foreigners don't jump at the opportunity. I wonder if they think we all love to perform because they see so many performance TV shows like American Idol or movies where young people are trying to become famous. Whatever the case may be, the children performed when I asked. "Take me to your heart" "God is a girl" "Yesterday once more" Songs they performed for me. Of course, I was asked to perform in turn. Why do they love "My heart will go on"? I won't complain, I know that song and the first part is easy to sing. It pleases them at least.

After a few hours of interacting with these children, my savior, the mandatory lights-out time arrives. It is time to sleep. I like falling asleep to the rumble of the train and the constant swaying of the train car as it races to its destination slower than we would drive on the interstate in America. Overnight trains are nice because I sleep for nearly half of the trip only to wake as we roll slowly into the station where I will alight. This is the typically train ride - an experience worth having over and over again.

Progress...(Part 2)

2007-10-14T21:58:00.000+08:00

In my ongoing attempt to decorate my apartment, phase two has just been wrapped up. I know how pictures on the right side of my living room and pictures in my bedroom. I also have cool new speakers so I can hear my music while I am attempting to cook Chinese food. I am sure the neighbors are enjoying this amplification of my western music where I belt out my lungs singing numbers from Hairspray. Of course, all of this distracts me. It probably accounts for why I get sick every time I eat my food - the food just isn't cooked well enough. Anyway Mom, check out the pictures.

The Beginning of October Holiday...

2007-10-14T13:45:00.000+08:00

A couple of weeks ago, I decided to go to Guilin for October Holiday. At that moment, I had not thought of the difficulties that would ensue in my attempt to travel there. In my naivety, I actually thought it would be pretty easy. It probably would have been easy if I had attempted to buy train tickets a few days earlier.

A week before my intended departure, I hiked up the mountain on top of which the train station is located. I was so proud. I thought, "Here it is. My big moment of independence. I will buy the train tickets myself." Well, I arrived after what seemed like a million steps to a line full of eager ticket buyers. My stomach sank. "I bet they all want to go to Guilin too," I thought. If I could speak more Chinese than the little I know, I would have encouraged them all to go to Wuhan. Its always hot there. And they have Metro. Who wouldn't want to go to Metro? After 10 mins in line, I got to the counter. I then attempted to buy the tickets. My heart sank as those 2 well-known syllables soared out of the ticket lady's mouth and landed on my sweaty ears, "Mei you." Oh no. No tickets! No tickets a week before! At that moment, I became more determined than ever. I was going to get tickets to Guilin.

The race was on. I had 7 days to get tickets. I called my travel agent friend. He said no problem. He called back and told me, "Problem." Hard seats for Monday to Guilin and Friday from Guilin. 3 days in Guilin? No way. I took them anyway just in case. My friend Peach had some friends in Wuhan pick me up tickets. We thought they were sleeper tickets for Saturday the day I wanted to leave. Nope. Hard seat for the day before. Seeing as I had to teach that day, I delightfully turned them down and paid for them. They said it would be hard to get tickets but I wasn't backing down. I already had emergency tickets so all was just ok. Jian Qiang looks for tickets all week for me. I am stressed because I am still not sure. I was turning down cheap airplane tickets left and right because I wanted to wait for Jian Qiang. Friday morning comes - no tickets. Friday at lunch I get a text from Jian. I have tickets for Saturday. Prayers have been answered. In the same minute (No lie!) Rufus texts me and says he can't leave on Saturday. I thought about leaving without him, but he too was already excited about going. I have to turn Jian's tickets down and embarrassingly I ask for Sunday tickets. Luck turned my way and for one second I saw that smirk on her face that said, "I love toying with you people." In her compassion, I get 2 tickets for Sunday in a sleeper train. I was ecstatic. I was going to Guilin.

My favorite thing about this whole situation is the continuing inconsistencies I run into everyday in China. Last October, my friends and I wanted to go to Beijing. At the last minute we got 6 sleeper train tickets to Beijing. That was marvelous; but the whole time people kept telling us to go early and buy tickets. We learned later that if we had gone early the ticket sellers would have left and told us to come later. Sometimes, it seems there is no right way. Luck is either for or against you. However, my friends went to Xi'an this year and bought tickets early. Smart move. I just laugh at my situation because in my search, I ended up with tickets for Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday to Guilin. Even the connected people (like my travel agent friend) said there were no tickets left and that I was out of luck. Oh well, it seems that most things are possible if you just give it time. And in case you were wondering, I had to pay for 2 sets of the 4 sets of tickets. 1 set of tickets isn't too much to pay to have things work out the way you want them to.

More later.

The Vienna Boys Choir...

2007-09-24T21:50:00.000+08:00

Last Thursday, I had was afforded the opportunity to see the Vienna Boys Choir with some of my friends. When I first heard about this event, I was very cynical. After several conversations, I became more comfortable with the idea of the Boys Choir singing at 3 Gorges University. I cleared my schedule and got pumped up for the concert. I mean, I downloaded songs and wikipedia'd info on the Boys Choir. I was going to be prepared for this celebration of the arts...then I got the call. My friend called me after several more rounds of translation errors to announce that it was a ballet from Vienna. Well, all that preparation would have went to waste had I actually done that. I am glad I just went back to my apartment before the Ballet to eat and watch Desperate Housewives.

The 8:00 pm ballet started promptly at 8:36 pm after a few rounds of my friends' own attempts to put on a ballet. (Pictures below.) And what a ballet it was. My student and first good Chinese friend, Sun Zhi, attended this ballet with me and some of my foreign friends. It was not a quality ballet but it was neat getting to experience some culture and sharing western culture with my Chinese friend. There were some good parts but overall it was terrible. However, I did love when the Austrian man and woman tried to speak Chinese. I laughed so hard. That is all I can say. I can't describe it. They kept saying in Chinese: "I love China. I love the Yangtze River. I love Yichang." It just made me laugh. Check out some pictures. These are all from Beth's camera. Check out what she caught with her mad skills.

Progress...

2007-09-19T14:02:00.000+08:00

and other stories.

It has been a few weeks since I last blogged. For those of you still reading, I appreciate your dedication. I don't know what I would do if I lost 50% of my fan base. I know grandma reads every now and then but you mom, you cannot quit reading even if you have to read the same articles over and over again. Ha ha. Just kidding. I would give up on me too. I suppose if my brother starts reading he might double my present fan base and learn what good writing looks like. Seriously, send me your papers in the future. I will see what I can do.

Last week was the first full week of school. It was a pretty good easy week. I did intro stuff and finished unit 1 of the textbooks in my Oral English classes. English majors are so nice. I just have to stay on my toes if I am going to keep them motivated to listen to me. They will only respect me as long as I keep them intrigued by me and the English language. If not, they will realize their English is good enough that what I am doing isn't really academic so much as nit picky. "No! You pronounce S-M-I-T-H and smm...iii..th. Mr. Smiss is incorrect. Oh, and company is pronounced with the emphasis on the first syllable." Does it really matter which syllable is emphasized? I suppose it does to most people but as long as I can understand you, I think you are doing a good job communicating. But this opinion is coming from 1 of 2 people who apparently have communication issues. I think my Dad is wrong. Right, Mom? I suppose he can make it up to us by paying for my master's degree.

English Corner began last week. If you have read Beth's blog you will already know this; if you haven't, then I have the pleasure of telling you that I danced last week with Beth. You see, Beth came over to make me sing to my students even though they wanted her to sing. I said no so the students threw out an alternative - "Dance!" They cheered as Beth was trying to make her getaway. Well, I thought this would be a perfect opportunity to give her a taste of her own medicine. (Really, Beth. I am not bitter. I loved it.) I said, "Alright, let's dance. Come here Beth!" So we danced. The one thing I forgot in my rash decision was that dancing requires music. In the end I had to sing. However, singing a Waltz is pretty cool when you make it up as you go. It was refreshing to perform once again...but if you are a Chinese student clever enough to see a blog blocked in China, then know this: I hate performing.

The pictures below are things in my continuing slow decoration and presentation of my apartment: new bed spread and a refrigerator full of veggies. My dream. Really.

New Beginnings...

2007-09-07T09:20:00.000+08:00

and some waiting.

A week ago today, I finally arrived back in Yichang with my friends. As I stood at the bus station packing the van which would transport us to the university, I enjoyed the light sprinkle of rain on my face, the scent of construction in the air, and the fear of eating pork tainted by some disease. Oh, it felt good to be back in China.

We arrived on campus in the middle of a rain shower so moving our things into our new apartments posed some problems but eventually the rain abated. Plus, several of our student friends join us in the moving process. Their alacrity was overwhelming. I probably could have just sat on the couch and watched the shifting of houses and the students would not have cared one bit.

I moved most of my stuff into my apartment on Saturday morning with the help of some students. Then I just laid around figuring out why I had brought so much stuff to China that I don't even use. I mean, what I am going to do with 20 piano books? Anyway, I am settled in now. I just have some decorating to do. I can't wait!

This week, I had 1 class. It was nice having the free time to catch up on sleep and the students' lives. It was also good for class planning. However, I wasn't so successful at that. It is now Friday, and I barely have any classes planned. Why can't I be like Beth and get my whole semester planned? Why?

Well, that is the overview of this last week. Future posts should be more interesting. I am really just using this post to figure out my blog once again. Sometimes it is in German and sometimes in Chinese. Proxy servers. Why can't I choose which countries they go through? Oh well, at least I have access to contraband websites and such. (And by contraband, I only mean sites blocked by the Chinese government like my blog. I like being considered an insurgent.) Below are pics of my apartment as of now. Hopefully, it will be more colorful soon. Ciao!

Dragon Boat What???

2007-05-26T00:16:00.000+08:00

So for months now, I have heard about a wonderful Dragon Boat Festival that happens each year in a town about an hour north of Yichang. It wasn't until last week that I finally got to experience what all the stories were about. You see, last term, I heard a strong beating drum coming from the Soccer Stadium all the time. In my curiosity, I would go over to see the origin of this noise. Everytime I went to look, I saw 2 rows of strong men paddling with oars in the air. No water. Just men sitting in a boat-like shape swinging those oars to the beat of the drum. I asked my students and they told me about the Dragon Boat Festival. As I mentioned previously, I got to see these men perform last weekend. It wasn't so much of a festival as a gathering of Yichang people who wanted to watch 22 men in a boat plus the navigator and the drummer paddle down the river in what turned out to be an international competition. Team group after team group raced each other. Preliminaries were fun for maybe 30 mins so the gang and I decided to explore the area on our own. Most of us ended up down near the foreign teams because we had students who were translators. It was really neat to see my students or friends making good use of the English.

We got some fun pictures but the ones below were the only ones I wanted to show off. You will see the starting line. Pretty cool. I would like to see my dad and brother paddle that fast. Beth and I were asked to be on Yichang TV, however, we aren't sure that we made it past the editing room. All we had to say was "Yichang Wonderful!" We sounded very articulate as you can imagine. Then there is the group minus Amy. She was relaxing having her own Children-peeing-beside-her Adventure. But my personal favorite is the last one. We are standing in line. Why? The Pizza Hut lady pointed at a sign that said "please line-up". Hey, ok. We were the only ones standing there and how did she know we wanted to go to Pizza Hut? (That was a terribly bad sentence grammatically. So is this one. Maybe...) Anyway, we did what she asked. Then she went inside and laughed. Hmm...what is it about foreignors that makes Chinese people laugh? Enjoy.

Coach, I'm gonna stay on the sidelines...

2007-05-24T13:41:00.000+08:00

So, several weeks ago (actually, it feels like months) one of the teachers in the Foreign Language College invited Brad and me to play on the department's basketball team. I just kind of laughed at the whole situation and never confirmed or rejected the invitation. Then last week, I got a call from the same teacher telling me that the basketball games were coming up. I, trying to be polite, told him that I am very busy and wouldn't have time to play. I did this for 2 reasons. 1) I can't play basketball 2) I didn't want to say no directly. Apparently, my indirectness was not good enough. He told me to meet him at the basketball court that day for practice. I then told him I had class that day and on the other days we were playing. (I was trying desperately to get out of it.) I did end up skipping that day after getting off the phone with him, after telling him I wasn't going to make it that day, and after he still thought I was coming. No amount of communication apparently was going to convince him otherwise.

To continue my long rambling, I didn't want to play basketball with them until I found out they were going to give me b-ball shoes and team clothes. Ah, sportswear, there is nothing more attractive than that. Well, maybe skipping the b-ball game to sleep or eat chocolate. Hmm....chocolate. I skipped the first game and attended the following 2. That was fun. I wanted to play more than I did but the team wasn't (and still isn't) accustomed to having substitutes. There were 5 Chinese who were on the team who have yet to play. I, at least, have Brad who just runs off the court and tells me to go in for him. (Maybe not quite like that, but I still get to go in.) So I have played 5 mins in one game and 10 in another. I play until they call a time-out to encourage Brad to come back in. I have heard he is the MVP. I don't know why I am not. I stand on the sidelines talking with all the fans. I mean, they didn't come to watch the b-ball game, did they?

So the championship was supposed to be today but it rained. Imagine my disappointment. But hey, I did something fun. I have new clothes. And most importantly, I have pics. There is one of Brad doing his super all-star thing and the rest are of me doing my thing...talking on the cell-phone, posing for the camera, and being confused. Yes, I went out there and had no clue which way my team was going. Oh, and by a weird twist of fate, my jersey is #12 - my old soccer number. Brad's is #17 his old number. I think the Chinese people did research. Maybe I should be a little bit more concerned.

The Cookout...

2007-05-22T22:36:00.000+08:00

A couple of weeks ago we got the chance to grill-out. Beth returned from her secret excursion to Wuhan with a beautiful grill that now resides on the balcony of mine and Brad's apartment. Brad put this thing together and it was beautiful. On our previous trip to Wuhan, we purchased charcoal. We thought we had everything in order but someone realized we didn't have lighter fluid. Ok. We will pick some up. Nope. None here. (Though, we might be able to use Zippo lighter fluid. Who knows?) The bag of charcoal was opened only to reveal what is strangely reminiscent of pieces of coal straight from the earth. Yeah, nothing close to the charcoal briquettes we are used to in America. I am sure they use the same stuff in steam engine locomotives.

After doing some research on the internet about starting grills without lighter fluid, we decided we should come up with a better solution than a chimney starter. (It was too complicated.) Many ideas were passed around...paper? Nope. (Doesn't burn long enough.) Gasoline? Nope. (Too dangerous.) Who-dey? Nope. (We would rather have him in a soup.) What about Bai Jiu? Come on, it's alcohol...albeit terrible alcohol. What better use of this stuff? (Strong start but didn't finish strong.) So, how should we light these coals? Peach grabs a coal and brings it into our kitchen and proceeds to light it over our stove top burner. Not a bad idea actually. The coal is lit after several minutes of loudly vocalized fear from the foreignors. Hooray! Now let's go light the other coals. Didn't work. So we ended up boiling the hot dogs for dinner. (I prefer them that way anyhow.) Not a bad dinner and it was accompanied by a fabulous lightning show. Dinner was saved but we didn't grill because the coals wouldn't light. 4 hours after our attempt, the one coal that had actually started eventually started the other coals and burned them into ash. Well, half a bad of coal gone. We know now to start the grills 6 hours before cook time. Oh China...live and learn.

First Swim 2007...

2007-05-20T12:31:00.000+08:00

Well, winter came, settled in, and ravaged Yichang for months. Our winter vacation to Southeast Asia was a nice break from the chilly Yichang weather. (Beth went to Harbin. I guess she wanted to play with the Russians and the ice sculptures.) Spring came and went in maybe 2 days. Now summer is here. Everyday, the heat increases greatly. Right now, I am camped out in my room loving my A/C.

A couple of weeks ago, we decided to go to Xia Lao Xi. It is a neat little place to swim. The swimming area is man-made. They blocked the river with concrete walls and now the water blows through nice and gently. It is clean, cool, and refreshing. It isn't very deep either so it is a great place to relax and wade around. We taught 2 of our friends to swim. I tried but failed. Beth did a better job at it. Before the end of the day, both Peach and Seheno were swimming around like pro's. Well, maybe not pro's, but they weren't drowning. (Good thing too! I don't know CPR and who knows how long it would be for emergency services to come to the rescue.) It was nice and serence for a while...then a 20 Indians showed up. No problem that they showed up; however, they just like to strip down to their underwear and take a swim. No shame. No shame. I suppose we will go swimming there often over the next month and a half. Oh, summer heat - glad you got rid of the winter cold but couldn't you back down just a little?

April Birthdays...

2007-05-20T12:02:00.000+08:00

So as you know, I have struggled keeping my blog up to date. Now that I can blog due to the Foreign Affairs Office finally coming through for us, I am forced to think about where to begin. Do I catch you up on everything or pick it up without caring what happened over the last few months? I think it would be a pity not to catch you up because so many neat things have happened and there are friends who deserve to be talked about in this vast and infinite cyberspace.

Here are some pictures of the April Birthdays. Beth and I celebrated our birthdays last month. On my birthday, my friends laid candles out in the shape of 23 down below my apartment. That was cool to see. Beth comes up with the coolest ideas. I have never seen anyone else go to such great lengths to make people feel special. Well, I have seen my Mom go to great lengths...so Beth is the second most creative and giving person I have ever met. My mom sent a Red Velvet Cake (my favorite) to China for someone to cook. Amy cooked it and wrote Chinese on it. Travis told me before I saw the surprise but it was no big deal. It was still cool. AND they let me have the whole cake to myself...thus continuing a tradition that my Mom started my freshman year of college. (And sometimes I wonder why I can't get into shape...)

We celebrated Beth's bday on the 27th. We did Mexican food, ghetto dance party, and special hang out time. That was a good night. Beth dressed up in her new skirt - very classy looking. Mexican was great! (She loves Mexican food. She also cooks a mean enchilada...I am sure it is better than Daniel's. Haha.) (Daniel if you read this, nothing personal. Beth is too great!) Ghetto Dance party...well, I don't dance often and I don't dance well. So basically, if we aren't doing the Macarena or the Cha Cha Slide, then I can't really do anything. Amy did a great job decorating Beth's cake. 76 days! Well, now there is less than 55 or so days. And then of course, there will be milk!

Could it be...

2007-05-16T10:15:00.000+08:00

So it looks as if my blog is working again. It looks as if the internet is fixed now. For a while there, I could only read emails. Now I can respond, delete, view pictures and everything. Well, now that the blog is working again...the real question is will I actually blog about my life here in China? Yes Mom and Dad, I will begin again. Until the next post, snake on this picture...

Bowling with the Koreans...

2007-01-14T00:20:00.000+08:00

This is a picture of the night we took the Koreans out for their Christmas present. We had heard there was a bowling alley in Yichang and decided bowling was the thing to do for our Korean friends. This night was pretty fantastic. First, we bowled. We bowled in China. Now, we have been roller skating and that was certainly a treat. Roller skating in China was like driving in China. No one follows the rules and everyone is more important than everyone else. People were going the wrong way. Some people were smoking. I was afraid for my shirt. There was a drunk guy out there with his spaghetti legs. That was hilarious. Our friends did karaoke in the corner. It was quite fun. Needless to say, we expected our bowling experience to be the same. It wasn't. First, it was pretty awesome because we had the whole bowling alley to ourselves. Sounds impressive right? Well, it is and it isn't. There were only 6 lanes. Our group of 12 was spread out over the lanes. The owner was a pretty shrewd business man. He required us to bowl 2 people per lane so that the games would go faster and we would bowl more. Well, we only played 2 games and found other ways to pass the time. The Koreans were a lot of fun. Now, if you haven't hung out with Koreans before then you are missing out. I don't know if all Koreans are like this, but I hope they are. These 4 (2 guys and 2 girls) were always hitting each other (in jest) and making fun of each other. They were like brothers and sisters. Too much fun. They don't speak English so we had 2 Chinese friends go with us to translate the Korean's Chinese. Despite the language barriers, we have really connected with them. Unfortunately, they will leave after this term. It will certainly be a said day when we say goodbye. We will, however, have great memories of them. I mean, who could forget 4 Korean students who were basically like locusts when it came to food. They devour everything when they come over. We are puzzled for a moment everytime this happens but then they smile and we remember that's why we like them so much. They are geniune and they are cool

Lucky Puppy...

2007-01-08T00:11:00.001+08:00

Meet Who-Dey. This is a dog who finally had his day. He was destined to a life of eating until he was to be eaten. Then 8 days ago, Brad spotted him. Some lady was selling several little puppies down Snack Alley and this one with stripes was the most popular. Why were they selling puppies in snack alley? In a word - dinner. They were all probably going to be dinner. With Brad being an avid Bengals fan, there was no way this dog was going to suffer the same fate that many (I will say eleventy-billion) other dogs have suffered in the past and will continue to suffer in the future as long as Huo Guo exists. Huo Guo is Chinese pinyin for Hot Pot. Basically, Dog Hot Pot is a meaty soup with all sorts of wonderful ingredients that would be delicious were it not for the dog meat it contains. (Hot Pot is really good with dry chicken.) Anyway, this dog with beautiful tiger stripes was the right mix of chemicals and cross-breeding to attract the attention of the Yichang 4. We bought it. Now he lives the high life in mine and Brad's apartment pooping on our floor and squealing like a pig. He tries to bark but he just sounds like a pig. Hopefully it is because he is nearly 50 days old not because he is a hybrid off tiger, dog, AND pig. Who knows what these puppies are made of? Anyway, I just wanted to start posting again and to show my family the new dog. Out.

Another Brick in the Wall...

2006-12-27T17:23:00.000+08:00

So, here I am once again attempting to tell you about the happenings in my life over the last month and I am confronting with another technological challenge. As I look at my screen, I am happy to see that Blogger is still functioning in China. However, I am staring at a screen where all the links and buttons are in Chinese. I don't know why. It is nice to type to you in English but I am not sure how to get pictures posted since I can't tell which button is the "Add Picture" button. As a result of these seemingly humorous catastrophy, I am unable to post pictures at this time. So now you have another pictureless brick of words on the wall of chronological rambings. FYI, life is going pretty well here. My friends and I just settled down from one of the most exhausting and yet enjoyable Christmases ever. More on that later.

To the Billions of my readers that I forgot to greet for the holidays -Merry Christmas and a Happy Every Day!

Thanksgiving in China!

2006-11-24T23:11:00.000+08:00

Finally, my blog is accessible. For the last 3 weeks, I have been unable to update my blog due to extenuating circumstances like China blocking the Blogger website. But now it works - I have even one more thing for which to be thankful.

So this year, I spent Thanksgiving in China. This was also the first year that I spent it away from my family. This was also supposed to be the first year that I should have cooked a turkey on my own.

Spending Thanksgiving (from this point on - TG) in China was a treat. There are no turkeys in Yichang. We went to Wuhan (5 hour bus ride one way) for a day trip. Beth and I had the responbility to go turkey hunting. After exploring Wal-Mart, we eventually found one at Metro (The Sam's Club like store from Germany). I bought a 7.5 kilogram turkey and a 6.4 kg turkey. I did the conversions wrong and ended up buying 30 pounds of turkey instead of 20 (even though I thought 7.5+6.4 kgs converted to 10 pounds). We named the turkeys Bob and Esther.

Spending TG in China is a treat especially when you spend it with great people. We had 16 people at our dinner. We rented a banquet room at the hotel next my apartment. The tables were huge. They had lazy Susan's. Lazy Susan's are awesome!!!!!!! 5 Chinese friends joined us along with a Venezualen, Madagasi (who practically hails from France), a Ukranian, and several Americans. It was very nice. I was stuffed. We had sweet potatoes, garlic mashed potatoes, eggplant, cornbread (Thanks Amy!), biscuits (Thanks Brad!), and many other things. Beth made several pumpkin pies and they were phenomenal!!!!

So I tried so hard to organize a way that I could cook the turkeys but I failed. Our ovens are toaster ovens so they cannot cook anything larger than a small pie. Often, 2 pieces of toast is nearly too much. I asked around for places to cook until the zero hour. Finally, I found a rotisserie place that cooked ducks. They told me they could cook the turkeys. I asked many questions like how big is too big? How long will it take? What do I need to do to the turkeys? They told me my turkey weight was good, that it would take 2 hours, and that I had to clean them.

I show up Thursday at noon with 2 turkeys. The cooker told me they were too big. Then he told me that I should have marinaded them. All this after he told me that my weights were good and that I needed to clean the turkeys. This was all after I had to pull the heart out along with the lungs. I was a little miffed. Not at pulling out the lungs and heart but because the cooker decided to cut the turkeys in half so they would cook right in the rotisserie. Of course it all worked out. I didn't get to cook it this year, maybe next year.

The day ended with a short time of cleaning and then a beautiful hour of watching the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Special DVD my mom sent to me. She is SuperMom!

The coolest family ever!

2006-10-31T12:34:00.000+08:00

This is my family. These are our Jack O'lanterns. I have no idea how Kristin got a hold of a pumpkin like that. That is too cool. My family was nice enough to put my face on a pumpkin (at least for the email, I can't figure out if it is really there.) That is, however, the Dawson Fern. My family is taking care of it as a symbol of taking care of me while I am in China. I have been told that the Dawson Fern sits at the table during special dinners and holidays. I am jealous of it.

The Sports Meeting

2006-10-27T18:03:00.000+08:00

So, I have had the privelege to view a sports meeting for the first time today. It was so nice to have classes canceled so my students could play sports. I now know how all my teachers felt when classes were canceled or I missed class because of sports. But unlike them, I don't feel bad. I enjoyed my day off.

I didn't watch much of the sports meeting today because of everything that I had to to. I will say that the opening ceremonies were akin to the Olympic Opening Ceremonies. (At least, that is what they were shooting for. It didn't exactly remind me of the olympics.) I watched a few of the students run. It was quite humorous. These students just get out there and compete in Track & Field Events with only a months training. It isn't like these events are what the students live for. The way it works over here is interesting. It is the equivalent of me asking you to just go teach Chinese to someone. You, like the students, would just go do it as if you had always taught Chinese. My point is that technique and skill is certainly missing from this Sports Meeting. These kids will start a 400 or 800 at a dead spring without thinking that, "Shoot, when I turn the first corner I will want to puke my guts out AND I HAVE 2 LAPS LEFT!" It is quite interesting. I WAS telling everyone that the high jump is humorous because they kind of hurdle the high jump. Well, it turns out that only the students I was watching practice a few weeks ago were doing that. Today, they tried to at least mimic normal form. The students have 2 more days of this. Pray for them.

Here is a pic of 2 of my French students. Felix is in the middle. We are good friends. David is on the right. We are still getting to know each other. I teach them English but they are French Majors. Why can't America make us learn more than one language? I am jealous of them.

Oh you may have noticed that I am missing my beard. I had to shave it off because I plugged my beard trimmer into the electric socket here and fried it. Apparently, 120V appliances do not work here in China in a 220V environment. Plus, check out my hair cut. It was done by a Chinese person. Not bad, eh?

The Westernization of Yichang

2006-10-27T17:49:00.000+08:00

A few weeks ago, one of the largest and most expensive shopping malls in Yichang opened up. This place is called JuneYao. The Yichang 4 actually went to the opening. It was the right thing to do since Brad and Beth were confused for investors. (They went to the construction sight weeks earlier and the people there handed them information packets and other knick-knacks because, we think, the workers confused them for investors.) The grand opening was quite a spectacle. There was a ribbon, dragons, and among other things. My favorite had to be the male and female models who were all dressed alike and had that "What am I doing here?" attitude written across their faces.

Besides all the bacchanalia, the greatest thing about this open was the newly constructed PIZZA HUT on the 1st floor!!!! It opened while we were in Beijing but we came back to enjoy the wonderful, greasy, fried, cheesy, fattening taste of the Pizza Hut pizza. You can see the ecstasy on my face. So far, I can find everything in China that I want. (Of course, I am not really searching for all things western.) Yichang will truly be westernized when they get a TacoBell. Next time you eat at TacoBell, eat for me a grilled stuft burrito with no onions, a beef chalupa supreme, and a been burrito with no onions.

The Infinite Game of Uno...

2006-10-21T22:45:00.000+08:00

Today started out like any other day. I got up at the crack of dawn - 6 a.m. I hate getting up early on Saturday. As foreignors, we are considered foreign experts. Because of this fact, people want us to make special appearances, teach at elementary schools in our free time, and tutor children. Teaching at an elementary school was the event du jour.

I, along with some of my friends, went to an elementary school with no preparation. I walked in and they handed me a book. I was supposed to come up with a 45 lesson plan in 10 minutes. Needless to say, I winged all 3 classes they had me teach. Did I tell you I was teaching elementary today? Do you remember the last time I tought elementary kids? I made many of the students cry. 1st graders are not my specialty. Luckily, today I was assigned to teach several grades - it was mostly colors, numbers, and directions, not reading. I had fun. It was draining though. I am not an expert elementary teaching. I am only an expert English speaker - that fact seems to mean that I am an expert teaching. I wish sometimes people would just sit down and think about their assumptions/beliefs sometimes. I shall not complain -500 yuan for 4 hours of my Saturday was worth it. I think I will do it next week.

After returning home, Brad and I joined Travis and the Kung Fu 4 for shopping. The KF4 are Chinese students who are now are really good friends. We all went shopping for food today so that we Americans could learn how to cook Chinese food. I watched and learned how to cook rice in a rice cooker, eggplant, peanuts, pumpkin, and dumplings. Most of it was easy. I have 2 choices when I want to cook food - steam it or stir fry it. It is so simple. The only thing that is difficult is seasonings and preparations. There is a lot of washing and cutting. I suppose it is worth it. Dinner was fabulous. The KF4 created a wonderful meal which 7 of us sat down and ate together. Then we played a marvelous game of Uno. It took 1 hour and 4 reshufflings of the deck to finish one round. This was a time that tried men's souls.

Well, I know how to cook a variety of Chinese dishes now. Maybe I will get the chance to cook for you in the future.

On to bigger and better things now - Disc 2 of the West Wing.

Beijing Series Part 8 (Final)

2006-10-21T22:25:00.000+08:00

The train ride home was great. It was so weird because the same 2 little girls who rode to Beijing with me rode back with me in the same train car. We weren't in the same little room but we were in the same train car. It was strange. We all had a very good time catching up - though none of us understood each other because of the language barrier.

Amy was in my cabin with me. The 2 little girls pretended to put make-up on Amy's face 5 times. Each time, they made Amy marry me. I felt bad. I didn't want to marry her but they married us several times in this elaborate ceremony that I didn't understand. My gift to them was 2 pieces of chocolate each. The night before I gave one of them chocolate and found out that Hershey chocolate is too sweet for them; they don't like it. So, I gave each of them 2 pieces and they accepted it after 3 offers. They had to. 3 was the magic number. Then they felt like they had to eat it in front of me. It was hilarious watching 4 little kids choke down 2 pieces of Hershey chocolate. You might say that I was evil, but they made me and Amy get married 5 times.

You might notice in the above pictures a lady who is eating nuts. I decided to document her in my journey because she is the only living human chipmunk I have ever seen. Click on the pics to enlarge them. You will see her scarfing down seed after seed after seed. Then you can see the piles of seeds she left. She ate them in maybe 30 seconds. Hundreds of seeds in seconds. I started laughing and couldn't stop. Ask Amy, I was crying because I was laughing so hard. (Just remember those times where I start laughing for no reason and I tell you why I was laughing and you didn't think it was funny but you started laughing because I was so rediculous. That is what it was like.)

Beijing Series - over.

Beijing Series Part 7

2006-10-18T16:15:00.000+08:00

In these pictures, Brad and I are touching the Bronze Wonder Donkey. This donkey has the head of a horse, the body of a donkey, the tail of a mule, and the split hoof of the bull. Both Brad and I rubbed it for healing. Who knows from what we were cured but at least we touched the Bronze Wonder Donkey.

Here is another monument in Tian'anmen Square. Look close to see if you can recognize it. If you guessed Lhasa, then you are correct. This is a monument to Lhasa, the capital of Tibet. This giant monastary was the home to the Dalai Lama for many years before China took over Tibet. Look closer at the picture. Do you see that big white protrusion behind the monastary? That is probably Mt. Everest. Isn't she beautiful? Somehow, this monement doesn't quite do her justice. What about the building in the background? That is the Northeast corner of the Hall of the People. (The Hall of the People is pretty much the capitol building of China.)

The Chinese have a knack for creating some of the funniest signs, especially when it comes to signs in English. This sign is probably the funniest I have seen to date. What exactly does it mean? It could mean "No bombs in your car." "Don't carry thick clouds of yellow shards on your roof while driving. After seconds of contemplation, the best one I could come up with was "Don't drive with a bonfire on the roof of your car!" Who, mind you, has ever driven with a bonfire on the roof of his car and are there that many of these mentally unstable people that they had to post signs for them all over the city? What in the world? My fears were put at ease later that evening when we crossed a major road and saw a car on fire.

Beijing Series Part 6

2006-10-18T15:34:00.000+08:00

Here are some more random pictures. I am sorry for not having any of the scenery in Beijing. A lot of the places were obstructed by scaffolding or positioned awkwardly so the camara angle and/or the composition of the picture would have been bad. At least you get commentary with these pics.

One day we tried to get close to the flag pole while the guard was removing it before sunset. As we were walking, we were stopped by a row of guards blocking the way. Apparently, too many people were too close so they were inhibiting the flow of traffic towards the flag. We were pretty respectful of the guards but many of the Chinese would create diversions and let their families sneak across this mysterious boundary. It is equivalent to tapping someone on the shoulder farthest from where you are standing so they turn the wrong way - and then you dash across the line. We just laughed. We also took our pictures with the guards. The one below on the left is me and Mr. Guard (who happened to be duped a million times). The way some of these Chinese people were acting you would think that they were trying to escape from Bosnia.

The picture on above on the right is the countdown clock for the Olympics. I tried to take a picture of it everytime I saw it. The ones I took at night were the coolest but they were very blurry. At least you can tell how much time was left until the Olympics when I snapped the picture. (Click on it to enlarge it.)

Below are some other random pictures. The one on the left is the room the Yichang 4 lived in at the You Yi Hostel in Beijing. 2 bunkbeds. It wasn't glamorous but it was fun. I love hostels - though this one wasn't the best. It didn't have a common room where we could meet other travellers. The best we could do was catch people in the hall. There was a bar connected to the Hostel but we only ate b-fast there. The picture on the right is of me and Amy in a rickshaw in the hutongs. (A hutong is kind of like a shanty town but generally nicer. The houses aren't shacks just little concrete buildings connected to each other in such a random way that the walkways tend to be mazelike.) We took a ride in one for 30 minutes. We bargained with the guy who would peddle the bike - 30 kuai for 2 people for 30 minutes. He dropped us off at a tea place in the middle of the hutongs. I asked how much for the tea - they said something that I thought meant free. After enjoying 30 minutes of tea they told us we must pay up. 25 dollars apiece. I had feeling cheated but whatever. Then the rickshaw driver peddled past our time and demanded we pay more. Heck no! It wasn't our fault he peddled too much. All he had to do was stop and drop us off at the road. It was fun seeing the hutongs though. No one knows how much longer they will be there since Beijing is becoming more and more modern and all the hutongs are being replaced with skyrise apartments/condos/buildings.

Beijing Series Part 5

2006-10-18T15:15:00.000+08:00

Here is a series of pictures that I wanted you to see. Check them out. I know you can recognize the Yichang 4 but who exactly are the other people? Your guess is as good as mine. The Chinese people like to have their picture taken with foreignors. I am not sure if it is because they have never seen a foreignor before or because they want to show it off to their friends. Maybe the Chinese people have placed bets with each other on who can take the most pictures with a foreignor. Why not? They gamble on everything else. They probably place bets on who is going to lose their job first because all they do it sit around and place bets.

Beijing Series Part 4

2006-10-16T14:51:00.000+08:00

On Wednesday, we made it to the Forbidden City. The Forbidden City is the former Imperial Palace for many of China's great emperors. For more on the layout of this great Palace, visit: http://www.thebeijingguide.com/forbidden_city/index.html. This place is filled with great architecture. The City is surrounded by a huge mote and an area that holds many other parks and buildings. This area is surrounded by an even larger wall. I would talk about the architecture and many of the buildings but I don't know much about it. I think the Chinese government just wants people to enjoy the architecture not the history. The only thing I know after spending a whole day there is that the most powerful person in China once lived there.

The pic on the right is of the Hall of Complete Harmony and the Hall of Preserving Harmony. I wish I could show you a pic of the glorious Hall of Supreme Harmony but that building, like many others in Beijing, was covered by scaffolding for renovations. The picture on the left is of me and Chairman Mao. The building that his picture is hanging on is the Gate of Heavenly Peace. This is the entrance to the city inside a city that contains another city - the Forbidden City.

During our tour of the Forbidden City, we ran into the most rediculous thing of that day. We found Starbucks. Starbucks!!!! There was a Starbucks in the Forbidden City. For hundreds of years, people weren't allowed in, people couldn't desecrate the home of the conduit of the heavens. Now there is a Starbucks there? Whose idea was that? The commercialization of the Forbidden City is sad; however, I do know that without such amenities and little random shops, no one would really enjoy the Forbidden City - unless you are like me. I loved looking at the architecture even if I didn't know what any of it meant. Maybe it was fun to dream about living there.

On Thursday, we headed out to the Great Wall at Mu Tian Yu. This section of the GW is not a very busy tourist spot. We liked it very much because it wasn't jam-packed with people. Amy and I rode up to the Wall in a cable car (a sky lift). It tooked less than 5 minutes. When we got up there we turned to the left and explored that side of the GW. Most people went right. Brad and Beth climbed up to the GW so we never saw them. Amy and I enjoyed ourselves and took many artistic photos - none of them will be included in this post. They say you can see the GW from space. I don't believe that. If you can't see my house, then you can't see the GW. The GW was no taller than a 2 story house. It was no wider than 2 cars. Some say that you can see it because it is long. I think some astronaut in space thought he saw it and that has been the belief since. The wall is impressive but I hear that it never kept out invaders. Also, I can't think of any army that would want to climb up the mountain anyway. It looks too steep for an army to take together. It was neat and I am glad that I saw it.

Click on the pictures to enlarge them. Check back soon for Part 5.

IMPORTANT INFO ABOUT COMMENTS...

2006-10-16T14:40:00.000+08:00

I have upgraded my blog to Blogger Beta. You can still view it but you cannot post a comment until you get a username for Blogger Beta. If you want to leave a comment without being a member of Blogger Beta, you can email me comments. Sorry. I hope that Blogger Beta will fix these problems soon.

Beijing Series Part 3

2006-10-16T13:33:00.000+08:00

Ah, a night on the town in Beijing. Actually, there were many nights on the town but usually only until 10 or so. We never styaed out too late because of the amount of walking and sightseeing that we did.

This picture is of Tian'anmen Square at night. On the left side of the pic is a neat temple. I am not quite sure what it was for or how old it was. On the left is Chairman Mao's Mausoleum. That was weird. People would being lining up at the wee hours in the morning. Eleventy-billion people were there each day to look at his dead body. First, Mao's body was 77 years old when it stopped working. Second, Mao's body has been stuck in the casket for the last 30. His face was glowy orange. I wish I had a picture to show you.

These two pictures are of the 2008 Olympic Mascots. It was a neat spectacle but the mascots are just weird. Speaking of the Olympics, I didn't get to see Olympic Park. We ran out of time. Unfortunately, it seemed that everything was under contruction in all the major tourist sights.
Here is a picture of a cool set of twin towers. The colors were neat. As you can tell, Beijing is not so Chinese. The traditional Chinese architecture is found at the tourist destinations. Beijing, the city, is very modern. It was everything. I could buy anything Western that I could want. Real good milk is hard to come by; Beijing has it. We all enjoyed that very much, though, Brad and Beth really enjoyed it - almost too much. We also indulgedin Mexican, Starbucks, Mom and Pop b-fast places, and McDonalds.

Keep checking in. Forbidden City and the Great Wall are next.

Beijing Series Part 2

2006-10-13T10:28:00.000+08:00

Saturday was pretty eventful despite the fact that we got to Beijing in the late afternoon. It was good to finally be on vacation.

Sunday morning we woke up and had family time with a relatively small family of foreignors at a hotel they rent out. None of whom we knew. It was neat to hear about the work going on in Beijing. One family in this congregation runs a foster home for handicapped children. It was so sad to see these little kids in wheel chairs and to think about the tough times they have ahead of them in life. It was encouraging, however, to see the work this family was doing to bring joy to these children's lives. Most of them had cute little wheel chairs and everyone treated them well.

We also went to IKEA. This place is a Swedish furniture and home supply warehouse kind of like Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Brad and I bought good tupperware. Amy and Beth and our new friends went ballistic. Hundreds of dollars up in the air. All of us were sucked in by the ice cream shop. At this little shop in the IKEA, ice cream went for one yuan. One yuan!!! Brad ate 4. Beth ate several. And I bought 2 straight off the bat. Brad thinks they are the best. I still prefer McDonald's.

Monday, we went to the Temple of Heaven and the Pearl Market. The Temple of Heaven is where the emperor went to make sacrifices to the heavens for a good year of harvest. It was neat. The exhibit didn't explain much of the history but the architecture was beautiful and impressive.

This is the Temple of Heaven. It is enormous. The picture doesn't do it justice. The picture on the right is of Amy and I with a couple who have wanted to have their picture made with some foreignors. It was fun. People always want pictures with different ones of the Yichang 4. Brad is the the most popular. I think it is because he is a giant compared to them. Or maybe it is because they all think he is hunky.

After the Temple of Heaven. We went to the Pearl Market. This is the place to get all kinds of knock-offs and pearls. I saw iPod nanos, camaras, silk robes, silk everything, pipes, paintings, etc. You could find just about everything there. The secret to this place is being able to bargain. As soon as you walk in they want to sell you something. "Good price for you." "Friendly price for you." "Do you have girlfriend?" "How much?" I would ask how much and they would respond with some outrageous number - 480 yuan! Heck no. I would counter with 50 yuan. They would say, "You are stealing the rice from my children's mouths." I would bargain with them ruthlessly no matter what they said. People won't sell unless they are making money. So, we would come to an agreement. I found out, though, that I am not as good at bargaining as Amy. My best percentage off was 50%. Hers was more than 80% off. She was good.

Below the pearl market, there was a fresh food market. It had seafood and meat. Everything was alive except for the meat. I tried to take some good pictures but failed to get some good pictures of crabs and stuff. Brad got to hold little eels. They were still alive. People just show up and buy these things. It almost makes me want to think twice before I eat anything at a restaurant - but I won't. Here's a few heads:

Hey, if you have already seen Part 1 of the series. Check out the new pictures that I added to it.

Beijing Series Part 1

2006-10-13T09:45:00.000+08:00

So after a long and crazy week I finally have something to say. Unfortunately, it will take more than one entry to describe my October Vacation. This is the first entry of the series. Check back in the future for more.

We finally got tickets after 4 days of searching. We were told that all tickets were sold out the Monday before we left. However, 2 days later, we heard they had tickets. Everything here in China seems to be based on who you know. My friends, Kim and Katie, were able to find us tickets. Maybe the travel agent liked them because they spoke a lot of Chinese.

We left of Friday evening by train for Beijing. My first experience on a train was horrific. It was the Amtrak ride from Orlando to D.C. with my classmates in 8th or 9th grade. (I can't remember.) I was in a cabin with several other Chinese travelers. There were 2 walls that had 3 beds on each wall. Mine was the very top. I really liked being up there. No, really, I did. The cabin was supposed to hold 6 but I am pretty sure there were 8 people in my cabin. I am glad no one slept with me in my bed. Those things were small.

My cabin mates were 2 little girls (7 and 9 years old). The other people were their many family members. Below is a pic of the 2 girls. We got along great. Unfortunately, we couldn't communicate because of the language barrier but we played and laughed and practiced Chinese and English. It was a blast. Also, let them play with my camara. I suppose the pic below is something they took while I was asleep. I should have concealed my camara better. They had fun though.We arrived in Beijing after 20 something hours of travel. Travelling by train is by far the coolest way to travel. Our train had beds, bathrooms, dining cars, psuedo-room service, and friendly people.
After our arrival, we set out for this cool restaurant in the hutongs. There we had Beijing Duck. It was mei wei (delicious)! We decided that if Beijing Duck wasn't so expensive we would eat it everyday. At this restaurant, you take your pieces of duck and wrap them in little tortillas and dip them in a strange sauce. It was perfect. Apparently, many other people think that too. We found a wall there with pictures of Al Gore, ambassadors from all over the place, and even prime ministers.

Oh, and I met my great Aunt Judi for the first time. She started off her vacation in China with a stop in Beijing. It was fun to meet her. I've never met her before but it wasn't awkward at all. Anyway, my mom sent a package of amazing goodies and a family photo album. I couldn't have felt any better that night.

Check in soon for the next part of the Beijing Series.

Bon Appetit!

2006-09-29T17:04:00.000+08:00

Here is the picture of the ice cream I told you about below. Yes, tomatoes were used as garnish.

A Wednesday Night Affair...

2006-09-29T10:14:00.000+08:00

This week was like last week except that it was different.

Wednesday night, the Yichang 4 and some friends (Chinese and Foreign) went to ShangKe. This restaurant is the 50's diner place that I have mentioned before. I ordered a Calzone. It was amazing. We also made friends with the owner so now she will order in Western food from Wuhan when we crave western food for our apartments. They have Metro in Wuhan. Metro is like Costco or Sam's. The Metro in Wuhan will ship us things that we want. How cool!

Here is a pic of Brad and I eating The Great Calzone. Also, Brad and I wore about the same things and ordered the exact same meal and drink. Our friends, Kim and Katie, did the exact same thing. So along with the Calzone pic, here is a pic of the roomies who live together, dress alike, and order the same food. Hopefully, this won't happen again. All four of us prefer individual tastes rather than group think. ;)

After Shangke, we went to see the fireworks. There were a million people there. The fireworks didn't compare to Thunder over Louisville, but they were still good. Beth has the really good pics that I took because my camara battery died. One day, I might post those.
After the fireworks, we went to West Street Coffee. This coffee joint was so cool. Some of the establishments here has the neatest architecture/decor. I ordered what I thought was fried chocolate ice cream. When it came, I was surprised. I got some vanilla ice cream thing on top of watermelon. If that wasn't surprising enough, it was decorated with tomato slices. I was so confused. After picking off the tomatoes, it wasn't so bad. I was a little sad that I didn't get friend ice cream. So, on closer inspection of the menu and after a conversation with the waitress, we cleared up the misunderstanding. It was all my fault. So here is some information:

1) The things about translated menu's is that you should have a chinese person tell you what the characters mean. Literal translations don't work sometimes.

2) Sometimes, it also helps to read the menu correctly. It said, "Friable Chocolate Ice Cream." It wasn't fried, but it was friable...I guess.

I don't have a pic because Brad has it on his camara. (Remember, my camara died.) I will post it next week.

Some random things...

2006-09-25T21:14:00.000+08:00

I have been an advocate for many years to get rid of onions, mushrooms, and peppers (green, red, and yellow). However, since I have been in china, I have been in love with these three vegetables. I suppose it is a sort of forced love. These vegetables seem to be in everything. Maybe it is the oil. Maybe it is the rice. It doesn't matter - these vegetables tastes so good.

Mmm. Mmm. Good.

So, I thought that maybe I would have grown up a little over the last few months but I haven't. I am still a college student through and through. Below is the lastest thing that I found in my refrigerator. It is spaghetti with large chunks of mold all over the place. It was disgusting.

Oh, and here is a flower. (I'm trying to perfect my photography skills. Any thoughts?)

A long but exciting week...

2006-09-24T13:55:00.000+08:00

It has been way too long since my last post. I apologize for that. This last week was very hectic.

Monday marked the beginning of the first full week of classes. Prior to that, I only had 1 class a week. That was a beautiful schedule. That 1 class was a sophomore oral English class made up of French majors. How about that? They are super cool! So, now my schedule is completely full. I have 8 classes. That brings my total hours per week to 16 hours. I have the most hours out of the Yichang 4. However, I can't complain too much. I only teach 3 different types of classes. The 1st one is the sophomore French majors. The 2nd one is 4 classes of freshmen oral English. The 3rd one is 2+2 oral English. These 2+2 students will study in Yichang 2 years and then go to Britain. My job is to meet with them 3 times a week and pretty much prepare them for travel abroad. Mind you, I know nothing about Britain. I guess we'll see how that goes.

This full schedule means that each week I need to do 3 class preps. I woke up this morning and planned the classes in my head. It took maybe 25 minutes. Now I just have to get comfortable with standing for 4 hours each day. That wouldn't be a problem except that all I do is walk. Everything I do requires that I walk long distances. Yes, they have taxi's and buses, but I have never walked so much in my life. I better come back to the states in the best shape of my life.

So, enough with the boring stuff (for now). This last week included a lot of work, but it also included a lot of fun things. We had a movie night on Wednesday. We watched Sabrina. I wanted to watch the Omen but one of the girls doesn't like scary movies (ahem, BETH). Thursday, I played ULTIMATE FRISBEE!!!! It was so awesome. Some of my Chinese students came and played. My friend Katie and I had been looking forward to this day for several weeks. We started playing and I realized that it was too early to play. I haven't run like that for years. I am so out of shape. Also, Thursday night brought us another English Corner. If you don't remember what that is, it is a time where all the English majors come and practice English. They love it when foreigners come and talk to them. I had a group of 15 around me for an hour and a half. It is so interesting trying to get them to practice their English when all they want to talk about is me. (I don't like that.)

This next thing deserves its own paragraph. Thursday night after English Corner, we went to Kim and Katie's for.......TIM TAMS!!! If you have never had a Tim Tam, you are missing out. However, even if you have had a Tim Tam you have never experienced goodness until you bite off little pieces from the opposite corners and suck coffee into it and then eat it. Oh....delicious. Delicious. Delicious. Delicious.

Friday, was an even neater day that Thursday. We went out for Indian food. Indian Food! In China! It was so good. The establishment was so cool. We then went to ShangKe. This little place is a 50's diner type coffee shop. I had a Reese's Shake. So good. We stayed there for hours playing games and listening to people play guitar. These 2 Chinese guys dueled and accompanied each other. They were awesome. The whole time, I was trying to find ways to make them famous. We left so late, that we got someone to bring us home. All 20 of us piled into this guys trip. (See picture below.) That was a fun ride home. (Mom, I made it home alive. Don't worry.)

Saturday was a fun day. I woke up at 6:30 to watch my students compete against each other in basketball. The girls were pretty funny. The referees barely enforce the rules because "they are girls." Maybe if the refs hold them to a higher standard they will learn the rules and become better. I don't know. The guys were really competitive. My 2+2 guys recruited some other kid to play for them. He scored all their points. I guess you have to do what you have to do.

Saturday night, I went dancing. Yep, we all went to the Indian students' dorms. They had music and lights. I learned the Cha Cha and some waltz moves. It was a blast. Brad and I did interpretive dancing. I hope none of those videos or pictures make their way into the world wide web.

That's all for now, folks. I'll do better next week.

The pic...

2006-09-14T10:15:00.000+08:00

In order for me to post a picture in my profile, I have to post it in a blog. How inefficient.

The New Pina Colada

2006-09-14T10:00:00.000+08:00

That's right. Just follow the old recipe but tweak it in the following ways:

1) Don't use crushed ice. Serve it warm.
2) Fill the whole glass with coconut milk.
3) Skip the pineapple.
4) Rum? Fuhgetabout it. Crack a raw egg in there instead. (Don't worry about the raw egg, the coconut milk is warm enough to cook the egg whites and poach the yolk.)

5) Stir with a stirring stick.
6) Make sure you don't forget to crack the yolk so it bleeds yellow into the white milk.

7) Oh, and watch out for cooked egg white. (It comes up the straw.)

Voila! There you have it. A new drink that can only make you smile.

A Little Bit of Chinglish...

2006-09-12T18:07:00.000+08:00

Here on my coffee table is a copy of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I decided to peruse the DVD cover. I first noticed that the movie information at the bottom (you know, the stuff that says its rating, who is in the film, who directed it, who did the music) was incorrect. It was about Disney's The Kid with Bruce Willis. (How old is that movie?) I then noticed the translation of the movie's summary. It was a beautiful piece of Chinglish. Here we go:

"The Charlie is a little boy of docile, he was born in a large chocolate factory to attachNear the family that door is poor;A person with peculiar character of the Willy Wonka, own aAn equally peculiar chocolate factory.The Wonka of solitary one person held a the field draw prizes,Decide to choose for own chocolate factory an inherits the person.Include the Charlie at inside of5 child that are luckies take out medium aureate lottery ticket, and be visit this to be filled with the mysterious colorThe qualifications of the colourful chocolate factory.Hence, a few childs have arrived at this for 15 yearsNo one to the peculiar factory that lead, attend a mysterious unfathomable and risky ......."

English teachers of the world.....we've got a lot of work to do.

A Random Discovery...

2006-09-12T15:36:00.000+08:00

So I gave my phone number out in class today. (I haven't been called yet. What does that mean?) As I was finishing the last 4 digits of my number, the class burst out laughing. I didn't know why at first but one of my students was willing to explain it after class.

You see, the last 4 digits are "7454". Apparently, they are bad luck. The chinese words for these numbers can mean different things depending on the tone. 7 is said "chi." If I don't use the right tone it could also mean wife. 4 is said "si." If I say this wrong, it could also mean death. 5 is said "wu." Again, if I say this one wrong, it could mean I.

So the last four digits mean (if mis-said) "Wife dead, I dead."

Why did they laugh?

Me and Bus #4...

2006-09-10T10:06:00.000+08:00

There is no better way to start the day off than a good ol' fashioned breakfast - American style.

After having a nice breakfast with my friends, I set off on my journey. I explored Yichang by bus. I kind of felt like Mary Tyler Moore.

Just as there is an alley for everything else, there is also a Bar Alley. Here I also found the drink that makes Tennessee world renown - Jack Daniels.

I stayed on the bus all the way to one end of the route. Instead of making a U-turn and following the route back the other way, the bus driver and his friend looked at me strangely and got off. They went to have a drink, however, not at the place above. I found another #4 bus and got on it going the other way. I went all the way the other end. I saw this on the way:

The Yangtze River is beautiful and dirty. The Riverfront is neat. It had several parks. I walked through there and saw a set of parents let their little boy pee in public. Oh, the Chinese. They have no shame. And yet, they do. They don't like to "lose face" and yet letting little kids parade around and "mess" in the street isn't considered losing face. Hmm.

Well, what happened to me earlier happened again. I got to the end of the route and the guy kicked me off. But this time, he pulled ahead 10 feet and picked up another passenger. Why didn't he just tell me to pay another yuan.

I finally returned to my apartment and had a snack. There is no better way to end a day than by eating a mooncake and drinking a can of cold Pepsi. The guy on the can has it all: a mask, a pair of leather boots, fake leather clothes, and a whip.

Pepsi - the official sponsor of dungeon masters?

First Class Ever...

2006-09-05T17:08:00.000+08:00

Today, I taught my first university class ever. It was such a neat experience. I had 28 students this morning. All of them French majors. This, of course, would pose no problem except that I am teaching Oral English!!! Actually, it wasn't too much of a problem. Most of them spoke English very well. English would be their 3rd language right after Chinese and French. Amazing. I wish language learning was stressed in America.

The students really enjoyed my dramatic reenactment of speechmakers who don't know how to give speeches. My first example was the really shaky speechmaker. My second example was the one who comes in and looks straight down at his notes. I didn't know that I could make people laugh that hard. I won't let it go to my head though. They were probably laughing out of embarrassment for me. That is why the classroom picture above has no students in it. They left after the first class period and never came back.

Just kidding. Class is two 45 minute periods with a 10 minute break. After the break, I had each one stand up and tell the class about themselves. They did pretty well. The students talked about everything from relationships and sports to dream jobs and summer vacations. This generation of Chinese is very open and talkative. I am glad. It makes my job a lot easier.

Until next time, long live San Xia Da Xue! Really? No, not really.

A What Massage?!?!?!

2006-09-05T16:49:00.000+08:00

So, the gang and I went to get back massages at the Peninsula Hotel last Friday. That was quite an experience. For one, we didn't bring a translator. That was our first mistake. And two, we didn't heed the warnings from Shelly, the other experienced English teacher.

We walked in and Brad and I pointed at what we wanted (the back massage) and from that point on it was all a blur. All of a sudden, Brad and I were whisked away to the men's lockerroom. Before we knew it we were in a giant hot tub waiting for what we thought was going to be our back massages.

After our insides were boiled from the temp of the hot tub, some guy came and grabbed Brad for his "back massage." It turned out to be a back scrub. After they noticed that I was dousing my head with the ice water they were bringing me to drink, they came and got me.

This back massage turned out to be a full body scrub. So I am laying there in all my glory and this guy takes a scrub sponge to my whole body. Things that only I, my future wife, and my doctor can touch were touched and SCRUBBED. It was so weird! Then he flips me over and is scrubbing the other side of me. Let me tell you, the only thing you can do when someone else wipes your butt is giggle.

Soon, the artist was through. I was then forced to fill out some paperwork and give the artist his tip. Mind you, I am still naked. Could they not wait? Then 2 guys come and get me and throw me in the shower. It is so uncomfortable standing there showering while 2 people are watching. What is even more uncomfortable is standing there while they dry you off and then dress you.

I don't think I have ever been naked that long in front of that many people.

Next time I want a massage, I am going to the blind community. I hear it is cheap and good AND less embarrassing.

New Apartment!!!

2006-09-05T16:37:00.000+08:00

So here is the new pad. Besides being on the 5th floor it is better than the previous one. Look at the size of that bathroom. The previous apartment's bathroom was about the size of that toilet. Oh and the ladder is not a permanent fixture. Brad vetoed that.

Old Apartment...

2006-09-05T16:28:00.000+08:00

This apartment was little. It was livable though. It just wasn't conducive to social life.

End of Week 1....yeah?

2006-09-03T18:10:00.000+08:00

3 showers in 7 days. Or maybe 3 showers in 9 days if you count the travelling days. Or 4 showers in 7 or 9 days depending on if I count that weird shower at the massage place where the guy dried me off. Yep, the servant dude took the towel to my naked body and dried most of me off. I will recount the massage story in a later blog.

Until then, Xyie Engineey Limieed. Huh?

A Wild Discovery...

2006-08-30T06:50:00.000+08:00

So, this is a wild discovery, but unfortunately it is one that my friends made long before I did. I think it might have been due to the fact that while they were cleaning their apartments, I was relaxing. And then...I had to clean mine.

I changed my sheets only to discover this beautiful love scene entitled "Angle of Love". Now, I know beds are made for 2 things, sleep and love making, but do the Chinese think that beds are also for decoration? Did no one tell the manufacturer that this wonderful scene would be covered up by sheets that are relatively bland? Also, did they mean "Angel of Love"? What is an "angle" of love? Anyway, to my excitement or maybe disappointment, I found this beautiful bed set to cover up this monstrousity.

Until next time, do something fun and useful like painting a mural in the cabinet space under the bathroom sink.

Shopping...

2006-08-29T07:13:00.000+08:00

Yesterday we went shopping at the mall. This place was amazing. We pulled up after our terrifying ride in a taxi and stepped out onto the dusty street in front of a what might be a 7 story building. We stepped into a world of chaos and modernization. I was amazed at all the stuff this place had. If I had had time, I would have bought a lot of things here instead of buying it in the US. Apparently, this mall is for the second richest class of citizens. The mall for the richest is elsewhere and I have heard that if you are poorer than the richest you can't even get in.

I am glad that we had this shopping experience. It showed me that the price level is pretty much the same as the US for most durable goods, i.e., electronics, bedding, etc. However, after having 2 meals, the price level for food is way different. A group of 6 of us ate a meal too large to finish for about 38 kuai. This is about 4 US dollars. Also, our shopping experience was led by 2 other Americans who have been here several years. They helped us get better acquainted with the culture. After the tour of the city they gave us, my friends and I felt so much better about being here.

Until then, pray that I don't get eaten by the cougar that I thought I saw last night.

Touchdown!!!!

2006-08-28T11:28:00.000+08:00

Alright, I am here (finally, and with my 3 friends - Brad, Amy, and Beth). After traveling for 13,000 million years, I finally arrived in Yichang City, Hubei Province, China. What a journey! If I never fly again, it will be all too soon.

So here is my first impression of China:
It is huge.

Here is my second:
It could hold way more people. There is so much land that isn't being used. I am kind of glad though. The countryside wouldn't be as beautiful if it was covered in houses or shanty's.

Ok, so we arrived at the school on Sunday. The school looked pretty neat. We were excited until we saw our apartments. I almost lost it. I could show you pictures but the pictures make it look good. By dinner time, we were all contemplating going home. After a small dinner (muffins), we conversed with our Father. After a long 12 hour sleep, we all woke up refreshed and more excited than the day before. I am glad we are staying.

Eventually, I will have pictures. Until then, No Driving Drunken.

A New Beginning...

2006-08-25T12:34:00.000+08:00

So here I am 16 hours away from departure and I am trying to figure out how to blog. I wonder how long I can keep something like this up. I guess we will see.