Thursday, April 17, 2008

Therapy Session Part 2

Acupuncture. Needles. Sharp. Electricity. Twitching. Violently. Ridiculous.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

I dared to use cool...

and Chinese hospital in the same sentence.

A couple of weeks ago, I hurt my back. The moment it happened, I knew it was a big deal. I mean, I could move. I could walk. I could even squeak and squack. If I want to say a something I just open up and talk. I can talk...argh. Charlotte's Web - curses!

If you know me really well, you know that I don't trust 3 types of people in this world - mechanics, politicians, and doctors. Well, imagine me trying to trust a doctor in a second language. It doesn't work. Also, anyone who knows me, knows that I love to diagnose myself. So basically, I went to the hospital with different friends and made them translate my concerns and desires in such a way that I could lead the doctor to my diagnosis. Probably not a very good thing in the first place, but it is fun. To make a long story short, I have...I am not going to tell you. It isn't personal but maybe you can look at the MRI results and try diagnosing me. BTW, MRI machines are by far in my "top 5 coolest machines in the the world" list. Don't ask what the others are. I have no idea.

Well, since we are on MRI's, I have to say this. One of my friends translated for me that day. He is a French major. His English is great but I was concerned with the technical language. So, he asked me if I had any metal on me, which he said at my prompting, I said no. Nothing on the outside or the inside. Who knows what the others requirements and safety precautions were. I got inside the machine. It was tight. I could have fit in better before when I had lost weight due to a 2 year diet of veggies and rice but alas, I gained it all back with a steady diet of chocolate my Mom has been feeding me with from overseas.

Back to the topic, I had done some reading on MRI machines. It seems that they are just some huge electronic magnets. After watching HOUSE, MD, I know what metal does in one of those machines. (Episodes 2-1 (prisoner with tatoo metal) and 4-7 (magician with key in stomach).) I get in the machine and start freakin' out. I didn't ask my mom if my medical history hinted about any metallic additions to my body or if I was part RoboCop. Oh, and I am adopted so who knows anyway. I was just hoping that the metal plate that could be in my head doesn't come lose when the machine starts and goes straight out my forehead. Grotesque, huh? I was a little nervous. Turns out the machine didn't hurt me.

So now I am suffering from....you thought I would tell you but you are wrong. I get to go to therapy now everyday for probably 1/2 a month to a whole month. I started today. See pictures below. I laid on a bed that basically pulled my lower half from my upper half like some medieval torture device. I liked it. Then electricity flows through my back in another session and last but not least, I got to lay on a massaging heat compress. Fabulous. I hope the school pays for this.